Family Fridays are Coming!

Beginning Friday, December 3^rd and every Friday after that StrongFamilies will be celebrating “Family Fridays” by posting a video tidbit to enrich your marriage and family.

Do you wonder how you can build better relationships with the variety of personalities in your home?

Do you sometimes struggle with ways to show love to your spouse and kids?

If so, then tune in each week to Family Fridays. We’ll be posting these clips here on the StrongFamilies blog as well as sending them out on Twitter and Facebook.

We trust that you’ll find them valuable, so if you’d like to keep receiving these weekly communications, be sure to subscribe to the blog, follow us on Twitter or Like us on Facebook.

Praise Report for Cindy!

Last Saturday morning, at 6:30am, my wife, Cindy started walking up the Mountain Preserve with her good friend, Donna. Why would that be a reason for praise, you ask?

It was almost a year ago in December that Cindy fell on that same trail – launching us into the most difficult period of time in her health history, and the focus of so many of your prayers these last 11 months!

In short, Cindy started back to teaching two weeks ago and now she even started back up the mountain for the first time since the accident!

Thank you Lord! And thank you all for your prayers!!!!

Being a Father Deemed Men's Most Important Job!

Here's some encouraging news!

If you think that dads get a bad rap in movies and television - you're right! Fathers are pictured as lame at best by the media and Hollywood - but that's not true in real life!

In a recent Rassmussen Report, 72% of non-married adults and adults without children agreed with this statement:

"The most important role a man can fulfill today is being a father!"

Is that cool or what! In short, three-out-of-four American adults feel that being a dad is a man's greatest calling!

To further that point, A father's influence upon a child's academic success later in life is felt the most when he's involved from the very beginning, according to a new study in the Journal of Educational Psychology.

Brent McBride, a professor of human development at University of Illinois says that if fathers establish early on that they're going to actively engage in the parenting process they're much more likely to continue that engagement (often with positive results) as they grow older.

"We need to help fathers realize that what they do is really important. If we wait and only get fathers involved when kids are having problems in school, that's too late."

"We need to look at the bigger picture, because these analysis all point to the same conclusion: that men and women each contribute uniquely to child outcomes," he said.

That's why it's so important that we help men discover what fatherhood really means and give them a model toward healthy and positive relationships with their child."

Pass on "The Blessing" this Easter

Here's a fun idea for passing on the "blessing" to your child or loved one this Easter.

Put a “Blessing Coin” in their Easter Basket!

It’s always great to fill your child’s Easter Basket with chocolate, or colored hard boiled eggs – but this year, how about adding something that can warm their hearts as well as satisfy their sweet tooth?

Children, of any age, long for their parents' “Blessing.” No matter your age, the approval of your parents affects how you view yourself and your ability to pass that approval along to your children, spouse and friends. If you’ve got a child – or other loved one in your home – The Blessing Coin (about the size of a half dollar) is a great way to give them your “Blessing,” along with something sweet!

On the back of the Blessing Coin are the five elements of the Blessing that each of us needs from those who care about us. Those five things are as old as the Old Testament, and as new as the most current research into what makes a strong family! And when you give your child a coin, make sure that you give them your “Blessing” at the same time. Your “Blessing” gives your child an empowering sense that you love, accept, and value them.

What are those “five” elements of the Blessing? They spell out, B.L.E.S.S. – on the back of your coin…(you can click on the photo to enlarge and see the details)

• Be committed
• Lovingly touch
• Express high value
• See potential
• Say it

Here’s an example of how to “Bless” your child when you give them their coin, putting all five elements of the Blessing into practice at the same time!

First, give your child their Easter Basket and ask them to look for a favorite chocolate (or favorite candy if they’re one of the few kids on the planet that don’t like chocolate!). While they’re munching, ask them to look for something else that’s really valuable that you want to show them, that you’ve put in their basket… their Blessing Coin that you (or you and your spouse) want to give them.

When they find the coin, explain to them why this is such a valuable coin, and what it represents from you. Here’s the kind of thing you can say (modified to fit your child of course).

“Sweetheart (or “Son” or put in their name), as I hold your hand and as I put this coin in your hand, I want you to know how much I love you, and how committed I am to being there for you all my life. I want you to know, right now, that if I could pick any child on the whole planet to love and bless – I’d choose you. I believe you are a gift of God to me, and I know that in the future, God has built so many great things into your life and heart, that you’re going to do great things to help others, and to be a Blessing one day to your own family. So thank you for being an incredible kid, and I want you to keep this coin so that you can always remember that no matter what, you have my “Blessing.”

In that short paragraph, are all five elements of the Blessing! There’s...

• “Be Committed” - words shared that highlight your commitment to love him or her, and to be there for them all of their life
• “Loving Touch” as you hold their hand and give them their coin
  
• “Expressing Value, high value - as you let them know that out of all the kids in the world, you’re grateful God gave them to you
• You've “Seen potential” in them for a great future, and that their strengths and gifts are things God can use in the future to help their own family and others
• and you’ve “Said it!” verbally! It’s so important to verbally “say” a Blessing – not just to assume that your child “knows” you love them! (I’ve had people in the counseling office who are in their seventies and still long and wish that – even once – they would have “heard verbally” their parent’s Blessing on their life!)

Obviously, if your child is a three year old, they may not understand all you’re saying – but give them your “Blessing” anyway. And if they’re five years old or older, they’ll “get it.” And don’t be surprised if that simple coin becomes a special symbol of that time that Mom and/or Dad, “Gave me their Blessing.”

Lord bless you and your family as you pass on the Blessing!

Need more help in understanding how the “Blessing” can be a life-changing and transforming gift for your child or others? (Your child of any age, by the way!) Then visit our website (www.StrongFamilies.com). You’ll find a book called, The Blessing, as well as encouragement to live out “The Blessing” in marriages and families, through your church, and as a key to doing “faith@home”.

You can also visit the online store to find "Bedtime Blessings" Volume 1 and 2 - books that you can tuck into your child's Easter basket and read to them throughout the year. What an awesome way to leave a legacy of love to those that God has entrusted to your care!

And let us know what happens. We'd love to hear your stories about the impact that this small, but meaningful gesture has on your children and loved ones. Keep us "posted".

Have a joyous Easter!

Welcome to John Trent's Blog on building StrongFamilies!

A blog devoted to building StrongFamilies? That's right! Welcome to this very first posting of what will be a frequent chance for me to share thoughts, stories, prayer requests, studies, and comments in general concerning all things marriage and family. As I write tonight, I'm thinking about my friend (now passed away) named, Dr. Jerry Falwell. From my hotel room, I can see Liberty University. Jerry built this University that began in 1971, and today, it's a sprawling campus in Lynchburg, VA, with thousands of college and graduate students (And a pretty good basketball team! Check out the league leading, Lady Flames!). I'm getting ready to speak at a Valentines Banquet tomorrow night (Friday night), at Travis Avenue Baptist Church (with Dr. Kevin Leman). Today, the church, like the University, is growing by leaps and bounds -- and it's new Pastor is... Jonathan Falwell. Jerry's oldest son. And that's what I wanted to post about. Several years ago (try fifteen!) I was asked by Dr. Falwell to come out and do a "marriage and family seminar" at his church. (Their first one). Guess who sat in the front row? Dr. Falwell. Guess who was sitting next to him? His wife and children -- including Jonathan. And afterwards, guess who got to go out to a local Subway with Jerry and his whole family for dinner? Me. Dr. Falwell was demonized in the press for years. On that night after the seminar, and in all the years I knew him after that, he was an incredibly warm and caring person -- and he was the real deal as a husband and father. With a crushing schedule, he took time for hiswife wife and kids. I saw him laugh with them, hug them, his eyes shine with pride as he introduced his wife and children to me. Jerry's gone now, but his legacy is going strong. I can see it as I look up at the lights shining in a huge new dorm. I know I'll see it when I shake Jonathan's hand tomorrow night. Not many of us are going to leave a University behind as a legacy -- but all of us who are parents have the opportunity to leave a loving legacy to our kids. Makes me think how much I miss Cindy and my girls back home. I'm going to call home... again. I'll let you know  how the seminars goes...