Hello friends!
In case you've been wondering where our posts have been lately, we want to officially announce the new location for Dr. John Trent's blog.
The URL is so easy to remember: http://johntrent.com/
We're also excited to announce a brand new look and feel for our www.StrongFamilies.com website as well. Please check it out when you have a chance.
Thanks for your support! We look forward to hearing from you in 2011.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
3 Keys to Leading and Influencing Others from your Strengths (Part 3 of 3)
We hope you enjoy the final segment of this 3-part article by Dr. Trent that was published recently in "Christian Counseling Today" magazine (Vol.17, No.4). The periodical is produced by the American Association of Christian Counselors. If you missed parts 1 & 2, you can read them in the posts below this one.
And this leads us to one final thought on leadership that I try to practice each day, and would recommend for you as well. Before I get out of the car at the office, I remind myself...
“We were all made for “more.”
So many people feel so unfulfilled, so unappreciated, so unused, so undervalued. We long for “more” in so many ways. At home, at work or in a ministry, we long for more impact, more openness, more love, more significance, more God-honoring service and more life-changing results.
So start your day by reminding yourself that God is a God of “more.”
In His Kingdom is more love, more grace, more fulfillment, more joy, more significance, more acceptance, more valuing of strengths and utilization of differences. Before you walk in the door at work, pray for more humility as a steward of one small part of God’s great Kingdom, and more patience and wisdom to see the “high value” of each person He has graciously, purposefully given you to lead or influence.
C.S. Lewis was right in saying, “ There is no neutral ground in the universe: every square inch, every split second, is claimed by God and counter claimed by Satan.”
May we claim His Kingdom, not our own, as we lead in our area of service, each and every day.
Would you commit to pray for more patience, wisdom and humility as you look for the "high value" of each person God has placed along your path?
Thank you for joining us for this 3-part series. Be sure to come back on Friday for our "Family Friday" video tidbit where Dr. Trent will answer life's common relationship questions each week.
And this leads us to one final thought on leadership that I try to practice each day, and would recommend for you as well. Before I get out of the car at the office, I remind myself...
“We were all made for “more.”
So many people feel so unfulfilled, so unappreciated, so unused, so undervalued. We long for “more” in so many ways. At home, at work or in a ministry, we long for more impact, more openness, more love, more significance, more God-honoring service and more life-changing results.So start your day by reminding yourself that God is a God of “more.”
In His Kingdom is more love, more grace, more fulfillment, more joy, more significance, more acceptance, more valuing of strengths and utilization of differences. Before you walk in the door at work, pray for more humility as a steward of one small part of God’s great Kingdom, and more patience and wisdom to see the “high value” of each person He has graciously, purposefully given you to lead or influence.
C.S. Lewis was right in saying, “ There is no neutral ground in the universe: every square inch, every split second, is claimed by God and counter claimed by Satan.”
May we claim His Kingdom, not our own, as we lead in our area of service, each and every day.
Would you commit to pray for more patience, wisdom and humility as you look for the "high value" of each person God has placed along your path?
Thank you for joining us for this 3-part series. Be sure to come back on Friday for our "Family Friday" video tidbit where Dr. Trent will answer life's common relationship questions each week.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
3 Keys to Leading and Influencing Others from your Strengths (Part 2 of 3)
We hope you enjoy part 2 of this article by Dr. Trent that was published recently in "Christian Counseling Today" magazine (Vol.17, No.4). The periodical is produced by the American Association of Christian Counselors. If you missed part 1, you can read it in the post below this one.
If the first key in leadership is looking up to Heaven in humility, (instead of looking down on those under us), there’s a second related key as well.
Namely, not only has Almighty God “placed” us in our place of leadership -- He actively, purposely “places” those around us as well!
As a marriage and family counselor, I often hear from couples that they’re experiencing, “irreconcilable differences.” In truth, I’ve heard that same complaint in numerous churches, ministries and business teams I’ve worked with over the years. In fact, I just spoke with a pastor who actually said, “I know what I need to do. I need to fire my whole congregation!”
For many of us, it’s the people we work with or try to lead (particularly if we’re focused on “our kingdom”) who are the problem. And unfortunately (and unwisely) that often means, “I’m sick and tired of the people I work with who are so different from me!” Like that detail person who always seems to shoot down our ideas in a staff meeting. Or the dreamer who can’t seem to stay focused on the task. Or the leader who steps into other areas outside her own to “coach” people that don’t report to her. Or the sensitive person who says “Yes” to every assignment, even when they’re hopelessly buried in projects and know they can’t get that task done.
“Why isn’t everyone like me!” we can lament – and yet when we do, we are erasing a key reason God put “different” people in our life!
That detail person that frustrates us so much is also the person, if we valued his or her strengths, who could tell us those two or three things that are keeping our idea from becoming a reality. Or the “dreamer” with all the creativity that first attracted us to him (and that’s now so frustrating) might have the key idea that breaks through a log-jam we’re facing. Or the person who is gifted at coaching and feel “underutilized” could perhaps be given a broader area of influence or coaching others (so they use more of their gifts and we didn’t have to do so much). Or that caring person, who seems to slow down under pressure, could also share with us what, specifically, is causing hurt or holding back others from doing their best at work (because they see so much of what’s going on around them).
Rodney Cox, President of Ministry Insights (www.ministryinsights.com) and the online designer of The Leading From Your Strengths Online report, goes all over the country and world, sharing a very simple message.
“God gives us our strengths… but He delights in our differences.”
That is so true and so biblical! “Irreconcilable differences” can actually be grounds for a great ministry team, friendship, or family relationship! You see this clearly in 1 Corinthians 12 where we’re told, “For the body is not one member, but many. Yet it’s important to know that it’s God Himself who distributes gifts and talents, for to continue Paul’s thought, “But God has placed the members each one of them in the body, just as He desires.” (1 Cor. 12:18). In other words, it is Almighty God Himself who has placed us with those in our ministry or family – as Rodney says, “To complete us not defeat us!” To protect us, not lead us to frustration.
When we realize that our place of ministry is not our “Kingdom” to rule, and that its “subjects” are there by God’s divine design (not to live out our will), it can change our attitude and actions as a leader. For example, instead of demanding that every problem in our ministry be solved in an “aggressive” way, (because we’re an “aggressive” problem solver), we start realizing that Almighty God “placed” that “reflective” problem-solver on our team to protect us and help us make good decisions, not to stop us or frustrate us.
Have you had a chance to take inventory of the strengths exhibited in those you enjoy life with every day and to actively appreciate them and thank God for the roles that they play in your life?
Don't forget that part 3 is coming tomorrow too! Sign up to follow Dr. Trent's blog so you won't miss another valuable post.
If the first key in leadership is looking up to Heaven in humility, (instead of looking down on those under us), there’s a second related key as well.
Namely, not only has Almighty God “placed” us in our place of leadership -- He actively, purposely “places” those around us as well!
As a marriage and family counselor, I often hear from couples that they’re experiencing, “irreconcilable differences.” In truth, I’ve heard that same complaint in numerous churches, ministries and business teams I’ve worked with over the years. In fact, I just spoke with a pastor who actually said, “I know what I need to do. I need to fire my whole congregation!”For many of us, it’s the people we work with or try to lead (particularly if we’re focused on “our kingdom”) who are the problem. And unfortunately (and unwisely) that often means, “I’m sick and tired of the people I work with who are so different from me!” Like that detail person who always seems to shoot down our ideas in a staff meeting. Or the dreamer who can’t seem to stay focused on the task. Or the leader who steps into other areas outside her own to “coach” people that don’t report to her. Or the sensitive person who says “Yes” to every assignment, even when they’re hopelessly buried in projects and know they can’t get that task done.
“Why isn’t everyone like me!” we can lament – and yet when we do, we are erasing a key reason God put “different” people in our life!
That detail person that frustrates us so much is also the person, if we valued his or her strengths, who could tell us those two or three things that are keeping our idea from becoming a reality. Or the “dreamer” with all the creativity that first attracted us to him (and that’s now so frustrating) might have the key idea that breaks through a log-jam we’re facing. Or the person who is gifted at coaching and feel “underutilized” could perhaps be given a broader area of influence or coaching others (so they use more of their gifts and we didn’t have to do so much). Or that caring person, who seems to slow down under pressure, could also share with us what, specifically, is causing hurt or holding back others from doing their best at work (because they see so much of what’s going on around them).Rodney Cox, President of Ministry Insights (www.ministryinsights.com) and the online designer of The Leading From Your Strengths Online report, goes all over the country and world, sharing a very simple message.
“God gives us our strengths… but He delights in our differences.”
That is so true and so biblical! “Irreconcilable differences” can actually be grounds for a great ministry team, friendship, or family relationship! You see this clearly in 1 Corinthians 12 where we’re told, “For the body is not one member, but many. Yet it’s important to know that it’s God Himself who distributes gifts and talents, for to continue Paul’s thought, “But God has placed the members each one of them in the body, just as He desires.” (1 Cor. 12:18). In other words, it is Almighty God Himself who has placed us with those in our ministry or family – as Rodney says, “To complete us not defeat us!” To protect us, not lead us to frustration.
When we realize that our place of ministry is not our “Kingdom” to rule, and that its “subjects” are there by God’s divine design (not to live out our will), it can change our attitude and actions as a leader. For example, instead of demanding that every problem in our ministry be solved in an “aggressive” way, (because we’re an “aggressive” problem solver), we start realizing that Almighty God “placed” that “reflective” problem-solver on our team to protect us and help us make good decisions, not to stop us or frustrate us.
Have you had a chance to take inventory of the strengths exhibited in those you enjoy life with every day and to actively appreciate them and thank God for the roles that they play in your life?
Don't forget that part 3 is coming tomorrow too! Sign up to follow Dr. Trent's blog so you won't miss another valuable post.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
3 Keys to Leading and Influencing Others from your Strengths (Part 1 of 3)
We hope you enjoy this article by Dr. Trent that was published recently in "Christian Counseling Today" magazine (Vol.17, No.4). The periodical is produced by the American Association of Christian Counselors. We will post it in 3 parts over the next 3 days.
I have a good friend who is a businessman and an avid golfer. Several years ago, on an international business trip, he was invited to play on the King of Morocco’s personal golf course, called (fittingly) The King’s Course. He got up to the first tee and it was a dogleg right. His group finished that hole, and as he stood on the second tee box, he noticed that the second hole was also a dogleg right. And the third hole… and the fourth hole as well! Finally, he asked his caddy about the layout of the course and he was told, “Oh, yes, every hole is a dogleg right. The King has a slice!”
That story is funny and profound at the same time. It also illustrates the first of three key thoughts I’d like to share with you about the place of leadership and influence God has given you and me. In an earthly Kingdom, the sovereign ruler can establish the values, the priorities and even the laws as He sees fit. He sets the lead. His decisions impact everyone. In this case, the King could have taken a golf lesson and built a normal course. But instead, by accommodating his weakness, a slice, he influenced and impacted everyone else who played on His course.
“But I’m not a golfer!” You might say. To which I would say, “Yes, but you are a leader.” And every one of us has been placed in a leadership position – be it at home, in ministry, at our place of business, at school, or in our counseling practice. In some area of life -- we all lead. And for many of us, (unfortunately) we look at that place of ministry as our “Kingdom.”
I would bet that most of us have worked at some time in our life for someone who looked at (or lived like) their place of ministry or business was indeed their “Kingdom.” They may not have worn a crown, but they sought to install their own rules, values and priorities on others. With that “look” in their eyes, or that dismissive attitude in a meeting, or that growing list of “rules” and demands, each day you came to work you saw more of a “leader” working to bend other’s actions (if not their wills) to accommodate their weaknesses. Their focus become as a result, “lording it over” others, instead of leading from their God-given strengths.
This is the first thing to consider as a leader...
Whose Kingdom are we building?
Remember, Jesus spoke constantly about His “Kingdom.” About the character and nature of its subjects. About how as Believers, we’re to “seek first His kingdom” – not our own. And while it may seem like in this day-and-age it’s the “Lord it over” leaders who get “promoted,” not penalized, God’s judgment will indeed one day right all wrongs.
For example, the Bible speaks of Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon. He lived from 605-562 B.C., and was the most powerful man on the planet. Yet placed in a position of authority, he looked down on all he had, not up to the God who had given him all he had. In Daniel 4:30, we’re told, “The king reflected and said, ‘Is this not Babylon the great, which I myself have built as a royal residence by the might of my power and for the glory of my majesty?’” And if you know the “rest of the story,” as for the next seven years, God judged him for exalting himself, and consigned him to dwell with the beasts of the field. What “woke him up” from acting like an animal (not a true King)? It was when he finally looked upwards to Almighty God as the true “Kingdom builder” – the One who is the giver of all his gifts, strengths, successes and abilities. In the words of a “reclaimed King,” he said, “I raised my eyes toward heaven and my reason returned to me.” (vs. 34).
That’s the first thing we need to realize as those placed in a position of leadership and influence. We battle God, not our employees, competition or teammates, when we seek to set up our own personal “Kingdom.” What does your kingdom look like?
Please visit us tomorrow for the second key to leading from your strengths.
I have a good friend who is a businessman and an avid golfer. Several years ago, on an international business trip, he was invited to play on the King of Morocco’s personal golf course, called (fittingly) The King’s Course. He got up to the first tee and it was a dogleg right. His group finished that hole, and as he stood on the second tee box, he noticed that the second hole was also a dogleg right. And the third hole… and the fourth hole as well! Finally, he asked his caddy about the layout of the course and he was told, “Oh, yes, every hole is a dogleg right. The King has a slice!”
That story is funny and profound at the same time. It also illustrates the first of three key thoughts I’d like to share with you about the place of leadership and influence God has given you and me. In an earthly Kingdom, the sovereign ruler can establish the values, the priorities and even the laws as He sees fit. He sets the lead. His decisions impact everyone. In this case, the King could have taken a golf lesson and built a normal course. But instead, by accommodating his weakness, a slice, he influenced and impacted everyone else who played on His course.
“But I’m not a golfer!” You might say. To which I would say, “Yes, but you are a leader.” And every one of us has been placed in a leadership position – be it at home, in ministry, at our place of business, at school, or in our counseling practice. In some area of life -- we all lead. And for many of us, (unfortunately) we look at that place of ministry as our “Kingdom.”I would bet that most of us have worked at some time in our life for someone who looked at (or lived like) their place of ministry or business was indeed their “Kingdom.” They may not have worn a crown, but they sought to install their own rules, values and priorities on others. With that “look” in their eyes, or that dismissive attitude in a meeting, or that growing list of “rules” and demands, each day you came to work you saw more of a “leader” working to bend other’s actions (if not their wills) to accommodate their weaknesses. Their focus become as a result, “lording it over” others, instead of leading from their God-given strengths.
This is the first thing to consider as a leader...
Whose Kingdom are we building?
Remember, Jesus spoke constantly about His “Kingdom.” About the character and nature of its subjects. About how as Believers, we’re to “seek first His kingdom” – not our own. And while it may seem like in this day-and-age it’s the “Lord it over” leaders who get “promoted,” not penalized, God’s judgment will indeed one day right all wrongs.
For example, the Bible speaks of Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon. He lived from 605-562 B.C., and was the most powerful man on the planet. Yet placed in a position of authority, he looked down on all he had, not up to the God who had given him all he had. In Daniel 4:30, we’re told, “The king reflected and said, ‘Is this not Babylon the great, which I myself have built as a royal residence by the might of my power and for the glory of my majesty?’” And if you know the “rest of the story,” as for the next seven years, God judged him for exalting himself, and consigned him to dwell with the beasts of the field. What “woke him up” from acting like an animal (not a true King)? It was when he finally looked upwards to Almighty God as the true “Kingdom builder” – the One who is the giver of all his gifts, strengths, successes and abilities. In the words of a “reclaimed King,” he said, “I raised my eyes toward heaven and my reason returned to me.” (vs. 34).
That’s the first thing we need to realize as those placed in a position of leadership and influence. We battle God, not our employees, competition or teammates, when we seek to set up our own personal “Kingdom.” What does your kingdom look like?
Please visit us tomorrow for the second key to leading from your strengths.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Welcome to our very first "Family Friday"!
Are you juggling the activities of life and having trouble keeping all the balls in the air? Do you wonder how you can build better relationships with the variety of personalities in your home? Do you sometimes struggle with ways to show love to your spouse and kids?
As promised, beginning today and every Friday in the coming months, StrongFamilies will be celebrating “Family Fridays” by posting a short video tidbit to enrich your life, marriage and family.
In light of our busy holiday season, this week's question is:
Click on the "play" arrow at the bottom left of the video to see Dr. Trent's answer.
We trust that you'll be able to identify the skinny rabbits in your life and take steps to refocus on what's more important instead.
Be sure to tune in each week to Family Fridays. We’ll be posting these clips here on the StrongFamilies blog, as well as sending them out on Twitter and Facebook.
If you find them valuable please pass them along to your friends. Also, if you’d like to keep receiving these weekly communications, be sure to subscribe to the blog, follow us on Twitter or “Like” us on Facebook.
Have a great week!
Dr. John Trent
Recommended resource: Chasing Skinny Rabbits
As promised, beginning today and every Friday in the coming months, StrongFamilies will be celebrating “Family Fridays” by posting a short video tidbit to enrich your life, marriage and family.
In light of our busy holiday season, this week's question is:
Click on the "play" arrow at the bottom left of the video to see Dr. Trent's answer.
We trust that you'll be able to identify the skinny rabbits in your life and take steps to refocus on what's more important instead.
Be sure to tune in each week to Family Fridays. We’ll be posting these clips here on the StrongFamilies blog, as well as sending them out on Twitter and Facebook.
If you find them valuable please pass them along to your friends. Also, if you’d like to keep receiving these weekly communications, be sure to subscribe to the blog, follow us on Twitter or “Like” us on Facebook.
Have a great week!
Dr. John Trent
Recommended resource: Chasing Skinny Rabbits
Friday, November 19, 2010
Family Fridays are Coming!
Beginning Friday, December 3rd and every Friday after that StrongFamilies will be celebrating “Family Fridays” by posting a video tidbit to enrich your marriage and family. Do you wonder how you can build better relationships with the variety of personalities in your home?
Do you sometimes struggle with ways to show love to your spouse and kids?
If so, then tune in each week to Family Fridays. We’ll be posting these clips here on the StrongFamilies blog as well as sending them out on Twitter and Facebook.
We trust that you’ll find them valuable, so if you’d like to keep receiving these weekly communications, be sure to subscribe to the blog, follow us on Twitter or Like us on Facebook.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Speaking at AZ Women's LIFT Meeting!
Hey, this Friday, November 12th I'll be speaking at the Arizona LIFT (Leaders in Fellowship Together) meeting for Women's Ministry Leaders from all over Arizona!If you live in Arizona and you're on the Women's Ministry team at your church, consider attending this free event. Or if you would like to encourage the women leaders on your church team, pass this along to them.
LIFT is a wonderful organization whose mission is to equip and encourage leaders in Women's Ministry.
Feel free to visit their website - www.LIFTAZ.org for more information and to RSVP for the event. Plus you can find out more about the ministry in general.
It's my privilege to share with these women that do so much to serve their church body.
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