John Trent's Strong Families

Our blog has moved! Please follow us there.

2010-12-23T14:03:00.000-08:00

Hello friends!

In case you've been wondering where our posts have been lately, we want to officially announce the new location for Dr. John Trent's blog.

The URL is so easy to remember: http://johntrent.com/

We're also excited to announce a brand new look and feel for our www.StrongFamilies.com website as well. Please check it out when you have a chance.

Thanks for your support! We look forward to hearing from you in 2011.

3 Keys to Leading and Influencing Others from your Strengths (Part 3 of 3)

2010-12-09T09:13:00.000-08:00

We hope you enjoy the final segment of this 3-part article by Dr. Trent that was published recently in "Christian Counseling Today" magazine (Vol.17, No.4). The periodical is produced by the American Association of Christian Counselors. If you missed parts 1 & 2, you can read them in the posts below this one.

And this leads us to one final thought on leadership that I try to practice each day, and would recommend for you as well. Before I get out of the car at the office, I remind myself...

“We were all made for “more.”

So many people feel so unfulfilled, so unappreciated, so unused, so undervalued. We long for “more” in so many ways. At home, at work or in a ministry, we long for more impact, more openness, more love, more significance, more God-honoring service and more life-changing results.

So start your day by reminding yourself that God is a God of “more.”

In His Kingdom is more love, more grace, more fulfillment, more joy, more significance, more acceptance, more valuing of strengths and utilization of differences. Before you walk in the door at work, pray for more humility as a steward of one small part of God’s great Kingdom, and more patience and wisdom to see the “high value” of each person He has graciously, purposefully given you to lead or influence.

C.S. Lewis was right in saying, “ There is no neutral ground in the universe: every square inch, every split second, is claimed by God and counter claimed by Satan.”

May we claim His Kingdom, not our own, as we lead in our area of service, each and every day.

Would you commit to pray for more patience, wisdom and humility as you look for the "high value" of each person God has placed along your path?

Thank you for joining us for this 3-part series. Be sure to come back on Friday for our "Family Friday" video tidbit where Dr. Trent will answer life's common relationship questions each week.

3 Keys to Leading and Influencing Others from your Strengths (Part 2 of 3)

2010-12-08T09:13:00.000-08:00

We hope you enjoy part 2 of this article by Dr. Trent that was published recently in "Christian Counseling Today" magazine (Vol.17, No.4). The periodical is produced by the American Association of Christian Counselors. If you missed part 1, you can read it in the post below this one.

If the first key in leadership is looking up to Heaven in humility, (instead of looking down on those under us), there’s a second related key as well.

Namely, not only has Almighty God “placed” us in our place of leadership -- He actively, purposely “places” those around us as well!

As a marriage and family counselor, I often hear from couples that they’re experiencing, “irreconcilable differences.” In truth, I’ve heard that same complaint in numerous churches, ministries and business teams I’ve worked with over the years. In fact, I just spoke with a pastor who actually said, “I know what I need to do. I need to fire my whole congregation!”

For many of us, it’s the people we work with or try to lead (particularly if we’re focused on “our kingdom”) who are the problem. And unfortunately (and unwisely) that often means, “I’m sick and tired of the people I work with who are so different from me!” Like that detail person who always seems to shoot down our ideas in a staff meeting. Or the dreamer who can’t seem to stay focused on the task. Or the leader who steps into other areas outside her own to “coach” people that don’t report to her. Or the sensitive person who says “Yes” to every assignment, even when they’re hopelessly buried in projects and know they can’t get that task done.

“Why isn’t everyone like me!” we can lament – and yet when we do, we are erasing a key reason God put “different” people in our life!

That detail person that frustrates us so much is also the person, if we valued his or her strengths, who could tell us those two or three things that are keeping our idea from becoming a reality. Or the “dreamer” with all the creativity that first attracted us to him (and that’s now so frustrating) might have the key idea that breaks through a log-jam we’re facing. Or the person who is gifted at coaching and feel “underutilized” could perhaps be given a broader area of influence or coaching others (so they use more of their gifts and we didn’t have to do so much). Or that caring person, who seems to slow down under pressure, could also share with us what, specifically, is causing hurt or holding back others from doing their best at work (because they see so much of what’s going on around them).

Rodney Cox, President of Ministry Insights (www.ministryinsights.com) and the online designer of The Leading From Your Strengths Online report, goes all over the country and world, sharing a very simple message.

“God gives us our strengths… but He delights in our differences.”

That is so true and so biblical! “Irreconcilable differences” can actually be grounds for a great ministry team, friendship, or family relationship! You see this clearly in 1 Corinthians 12 where we’re told, “For the body is not one member, but many. Yet it’s important to know that it’s God Himself who distributes gifts and talents, for to continue Paul’s thought, “But God has placed the members each one of them in the body, just as He desires.” (1 Cor. 12:18). In other words, it is Almighty God Himself who has placed us with those in our ministry or family – as Rodney says, “To complete us not defeat us!” To protect us, not lead us to frustration.

When we realize that our place of ministry is not our “Kingdom” to rule, and that its “subjects” are there by God’s divine design (not to live out our will), it can change our attitude and actions as a leader. For example, instead of demanding that every problem in our ministry be solved in an “aggressive” way, (because we’re an “aggressive” problem solver), we start realizing that Almighty God “placed” that “reflective” problem-solver on our team to protect us and help us make good decisions, not to stop us or frustrate us.

Have you had a chance to take inventory of the strengths exhibited in those you enjoy life with every day and to actively appreciate them and thank God for the roles that they play in your life?

Don't forget that part 3 is coming tomorrow too! Sign up to follow Dr. Trent's blog so you won't miss another valuable post.

3 Keys to Leading and Influencing Others from your Strengths (Part 1 of 3)

2010-12-07T09:13:00.000-08:00

We hope you enjoy this article by Dr. Trent that was published recently in "Christian Counseling Today" magazine (Vol.17, No.4). The periodical is produced by the American Association of Christian Counselors. We will post it in 3 parts over the next 3 days.

I have a good friend who is a businessman and an avid golfer. Several years ago, on an international business trip, he was invited to play on the King of Morocco’s personal golf course, called (fittingly) The King’s Course. He got up to the first tee and it was a dogleg right. His group finished that hole, and as he stood on the second tee box, he noticed that the second hole was also a dogleg right. And the third hole… and the fourth hole as well! Finally, he asked his caddy about the layout of the course and he was told, “Oh, yes, every hole is a dogleg right. The King has a slice!”

That story is funny and profound at the same time. It also illustrates the first of three key thoughts I’d like to share with you about the place of leadership and influence God has given you and me. In an earthly Kingdom, the sovereign ruler can establish the values, the priorities and even the laws as He sees fit. He sets the lead. His decisions impact everyone. In this case, the King could have taken a golf lesson and built a normal course. But instead, by accommodating his weakness, a slice, he influenced and impacted everyone else who played on His course.

“But I’m not a golfer!” You might say. To which I would say, “Yes, but you are a leader.” And every one of us has been placed in a leadership position – be it at home, in ministry, at our place of business, at school, or in our counseling practice. In some area of life -- we all lead. And for many of us, (unfortunately) we look at that place of ministry as our “Kingdom.”

I would bet that most of us have worked at some time in our life for someone who looked at (or lived like) their place of ministry or business was indeed their “Kingdom.” They may not have worn a crown, but they sought to install their own rules, values and priorities on others. With that “look” in their eyes, or that dismissive attitude in a meeting, or that growing list of “rules” and demands, each day you came to work you saw more of a “leader” working to bend other’s actions (if not their wills) to accommodate their weaknesses. Their focus become as a result, “lording it over” others, instead of leading from their God-given strengths.

This is the first thing to consider as a leader...

Whose Kingdom are we building?

Remember, Jesus spoke constantly about His “Kingdom.” About the character and nature of its subjects. About how as Believers, we’re to “seek first His kingdom” – not our own. And while it may seem like in this day-and-age it’s the “Lord it over” leaders who get “promoted,” not penalized, God’s judgment will indeed one day right all wrongs.

For example, the Bible speaks of Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon. He lived from 605-562 B.C., and was the most powerful man on the planet. Yet placed in a position of authority, he looked down on all he had, not up to the God who had given him all he had. In Daniel 4:30, we’re told, “The king reflected and said, ‘Is this not Babylon the great, which I myself have built as a royal residence by the might of my power and for the glory of my majesty?’” And if you know the “rest of the story,” as for the next seven years, God judged him for exalting himself, and consigned him to dwell with the beasts of the field. What “woke him up” from acting like an animal (not a true King)? It was when he finally looked upwards to Almighty God as the true “Kingdom builder” – the One who is the giver of all his gifts, strengths, successes and abilities. In the words of a “reclaimed King,” he said, “I raised my eyes toward heaven and my reason returned to me.” (vs. 34).

That’s the first thing we need to realize as those placed in a position of leadership and influence. We battle God, not our employees, competition or teammates, when we seek to set up our own personal “Kingdom.” What does your kingdom look like?

Please visit us tomorrow for the second key to leading from your strengths.

Welcome to our very first "Family Friday"!

2010-12-03T09:12:00.000-08:00

Are you juggling the activities of life and having trouble keeping all the balls in the air? Do you wonder how you can build better relationships with the variety of personalities in your home? Do you sometimes struggle with ways to show love to your spouse and kids?

As promised, beginning today and every Friday in the coming months, StrongFamilies will be celebrating “Family Fridays” by posting a short video tidbit to enrich your life, marriage and family.

In light of our busy holiday season, this week's question is:

Click on the "play" arrow at the bottom left of the video to see Dr. Trent's answer.

We trust that you'll be able to identify the skinny rabbits in your life and take steps to refocus on what's more important instead.

Be sure to tune in each week to Family Fridays. We’ll be posting these clips here on the StrongFamilies blog, as well as sending them out on Twitter and Facebook.

If you find them valuable please pass them along to your friends. Also, if you’d like to keep receiving these weekly communications, be sure to subscribe to the blog, follow us on Twitter or “Like” us on Facebook.

Have a great week!

Dr. John Trent

Recommended resource: Chasing Skinny Rabbits

Family Fridays are Coming!

2010-11-19T09:02:00.000-08:00

Beginning Friday, December 3^rd and every Friday after that StrongFamilies will be celebrating “Family Fridays” by posting a video tidbit to enrich your marriage and family.

Do you wonder how you can build better relationships with the variety of personalities in your home?

Do you sometimes struggle with ways to show love to your spouse and kids?

If so, then tune in each week to Family Fridays. We’ll be posting these clips here on the StrongFamilies blog as well as sending them out on Twitter and Facebook.

We trust that you’ll find them valuable, so if you’d like to keep receiving these weekly communications, be sure to subscribe to the blog, follow us on Twitter or Like us on Facebook.

Speaking at AZ Women's LIFT Meeting!

2010-11-08T09:08:00.000-08:00

Hey, this Friday, November 12th I'll be speaking at the Arizona LIFT (Leaders in Fellowship Together) meeting for Women's Ministry Leaders from all over Arizona!

If you live in Arizona and you're on the Women's Ministry team at your church, consider attending this free event. Or if you would like to encourage the women leaders on your church team, pass this along to them.

LIFT is a wonderful organization whose mission is to equip and encourage leaders in Women's Ministry.

Feel free to visit their website - www.LIFTAZ.org for more information and to RSVP for the event. Plus you can find out more about the ministry in general.

It's my privilege to share with these women that do so much to serve their church body.

Praise Report for Cindy!

2010-11-06T11:22:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday morning, at 6:30am, my wife, Cindy started walking up the Mountain Preserve with her good friend, Donna. Why would that be a reason for praise, you ask?

It was almost a year ago in December that Cindy fell on that same trail – launching us into the most difficult period of time in her health history, and the focus of so many of your prayers these last 11 months!

In short, Cindy started back to teaching two weeks ago and now she even started back up the mountain for the first time since the accident!

Thank you Lord! And thank you all for your prayers!!!!

Parenting Seminar on Sunday in Tempe

2010-11-05T09:02:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, November 7th I am looking forward to teaching a Parenting Seminar at Christ Life Church, Tempe, Arizona!

This is a church that wants to use "The Blessing" to equip parents to better love and encourage their kids.

Thank you for your prayers as I speak twice on Sunday morning, and then do a seminar on Sunday afternoon! If you're interested in more information, please visit the website or call the church today.

Encouraging parents in how to love their kids is always a blessing to me too!

Huge Meeting Tomorrow with Focus on the Family!

2010-11-04T10:36:00.000-07:00

Friday, November 5th I will be in Colorado Springs on the beautiful Focus on the Family campus finalizing details for our partnering agreement with them.

Think about a meeting with the top book and DVD people, the publications executives, folks from broadcasting and radio programming, and on and on.

That’s who will be in the room to talk about how we move forward with our partnership to promote the message of "The Blessing" to a new generation of parents and families!

I fly in today and would appreciate prayers for wisdom and insight as we talk about everything from music that blesses others to seminars to radio programs to books and more!

For a ministry like ours, what an incredible gift this will be in helping us share our core message world-wide!

I hope to get photos of the actual "signing ceremony" just for fun.

Thanks for your prayers and encouragement!

Do you receive our eNewsletter?

2010-10-05T12:46:00.000-07:00

Hello friends,

We just wanted to send a friendly reminder that our monthly eNewsletter will be sent out in the coming days, so watch your inbox.

This short monthly e-publication is a fun way to learn about “breaking news,” helpful studies and take-home tips to help you build a StrongFamily.

If you're not already part of the StrongFamilies community and want to receive our monthly updates, please visit our website here and sign up for the emails.

At StrongFamilies, we never have, nor will we ever share your email address with anyone else. You may unsubscribe to the newsletter anytime you choose.

Thank you for being a vital part of our family.

Win - Win Photo Shoot!

2010-09-29T09:35:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, we did a StrongFamilies photo shoot with Kate Williams of Life By Kate. You will be seeing some of these images on our website, seminar manuals, and other SF materials. These are real families, they are beautiful inside and out. We truly had an incredible day doing the shoot.

Kate will be doing another SF shoot for us in October. If you are in the Phoenix area and are interested in doing a FREE photo shoot it's a win-win for all of us.

You will get copies of the pictures for personal use and SF gets to use them on our website, and other media! We are looking for singles, couples and families of all ages and walks of life.

If you'd like more information, add a comment here with your email address or send us an email at ktrent[at]strongfamilies[dot]com. We will only have limited spaces available, so let us know if you're interested as soon as possible.

We look forward to hearing from you!

A New Partnership with Focus on the Family!

2010-09-21T11:29:00.000-07:00

Check out this picture of the view when I walk out of my hotel – it's The Empire State Building! Wow!

If you're reading this on Tuesday(9/21) then we’re just a few hours away from officially launching the Institute for the Blessing and Focus on the Family strategic partnership with a national broadcast! Jim Daly, President of Focus on the Family, will be doing an interview with Tony Wheeler and I that kicks off our effort to bring the message of The Blessing to a whole new generation of parents.

We'd love it if you would pray with us today, that we can clearly present this timeless message in a way that stirs the hearts of parents of children young and old in these challenging times. Five radio stations here in the New York area have been promoting this event, and there’ll be a Christian comedian and lots of people from the area who make up the “studio audience". It’s kind of like a seminar, that’s a radio program – so I could sure use your prayers!

Hey, if you're reading this in the Big Apple, why not consider coming to the free event tonight at the Manhattan Center? Here's a link with more details and registration info.

This is just the beginning – but what a place to announce to the world that God’s timeless message of The Blessing is indeed the place where hurting can end, and love begin.

John Trent, Ph.D.
President

New Institute for the Blessing Facebook Page

2010-09-02T13:04:00.000-07:00

Good news!

We now have a Facebook page for "The Dr. John Trent Institute for The Blessing at Barclay College".

Check it out and click the button to “like” us!

From there, we'll keep you posted on events and updates and share inspirational words and suggestions for using the elements of "The Blessing" in your everyday lives.

Post a note about how the Blessing has affected your life or something encouraging on the wall too, if you’d like!

Oh, and share the page and invite your friends to “like” us too!

Please Pray for our Big Meeting today!

2010-08-31T08:54:00.000-07:00

Hey, StrongFamilies friends,

After months of prayers and planning, I'm at Focus on the Family today for a huge meeting. From this meeting could come a partnership between StrongFamilies.com, The Institute for the Blessing, and Focus on the Family, to take the message of The Blessing to a whole new generation of parents. If you'd like to read more about this, I've included the StrongFamilies Prayer Team Special Prayer Update below for you to read. Of if you've just got a moment, we'd ask for your prayers for the Lord to open the door for us to work together in sharing this life-changing Biblical message!

I'll post in the future about how the meeting went -- but thank you so much for your prayers today!
JT

StrongFamilies Special Edition Prayer Request!
August 31, 2010

We’re only a day away from our September prayer request email, but after months of all of you praying for us – today is the day!

I wish you could pull up a chair with us in the main boardroom at Focus on the Family (next to what used to be Dr. Dobson’s office). Today we have our major, and supposedly our final meeting with folks from StrongFamilies, The Institute for the Blessing, and Focus on the Family. After months of discussion – this is the “decision” meeting regarding all of us working together to take the message of The Blessing to a whole new generation of parents and people!

In the room will be a “who’s who” of FoF folks. If they decide to move forward after this meeting, the next thing would be for Dr. Wheeler and I to fly to New York City in September to launch the partnership with a national radio broadcast (in front of a huge live audience). But before that “launch” comes – comes this huge meeting and the decision to move forward together or not.

Tomorrow we present 11 areas where we could work with Focus to spread the message of The Blessing to others. (From working together on a “Blessing Institute Book line, to online classes on the Blessing, to seminars, to radio programs, to sharing music that “Blesses” others, to passing out a million “Blessing coins” and more.). I’ll send you a “What happened at the meeting!” update, along with a very busy September Prayer list on September 1st. But months of prayers these past months will end, and we pray, begin with tomorrow’s meeting here at Focus on the Family.

Here’s my prayer, “Lord, thank you that as we walk into that huge Boardroom tomorrow, we know You’re walking beside us – and that You’ve been there ahead of us as well. We know the word “life” means movement – and we ask for your guidance and favor as these ministries consider moving forward together to better share Your message. We ask if this strategic alliance could further Your Kingdom, then every door would open tomorrow. Lord, we know there are so many hurting families and individuals out there. And we know as well that Your concept of The Blessing jumps off the pages of Scripture and can bring love, hope and healing to men and women who need help so much. So Lord, we humbly ask that all our prayers and months of working toward this one meeting will end up with many thousands more “living the Blessing” in their homes, churches and communities, for Your glory and honor.

Amen and thank you for your prayers! JT

John Trent, Ph.D.
President, StrongFamilies.com
Founder, The Institute for the Blessing at Barclay College

Note: If you're not already on our prayer team and would like to be, please shoot us an email at friends@strongfamilies.com and we'll be happy to include you.

Win an Autographed Book!

2010-08-30T12:44:00.000-07:00

Don't forget about our drawing to win an autographed John Trent book when our StrongFamilies Facebook page reaches 500 "LIKEs". We're inching closer and closer to that magic number. Remember, everyone who recommends it to their friends will be in the drawing along with your friends.

We'll also do another drawing when we get to 1000 "LIKEs" so keep up the great work!

Click here for more details about the contest.

Slight Change of Plans for the Half Marathon

2010-07-28T09:46:00.000-07:00

So it looks like I'll be running the half marathon in Scottsdale instead of Chicago this Sunday. Let me fill you in on how that has all come about.

Frankly, we've been facing some tremendous challenges with my wife, Cindy. For those who haven't heard, Cindy experienced some serious chemical burns on her hands. Even though her hands have healed on the outside, the nerve pain continues unabated (picture your hands on fire and from there, overall pain shoots through your body and makes it terribly hard to sleep). We've been to a number of doctors, and are extremely grateful for all the folks who have been praying. We have seen some improvement, thank the Lord. However, we just need her brain to start saying "There's no reason to hurt anymore!" and for the pain to stop! (Not being able to sleep for more than 20 or 30 minutes at a time makes everything in life more challenging).

So that leads me to the change of venue for the race.

If you've seen earlier posts or visited our website, you'll remember that I was supposed to go to Chicago this weekend and run the Rock & Roll 1/2 Marathon. That's our big summer fund-raising event for StrongFamilies, with people sponsoring me per mile, and all the funds raised going to build strongfamilies. However, with Cindy in such tough shape, I've had to cancel trips last week, and I can't fly out to Chicago this week as well.

So, Cindy came up with a great idea (I think).

This Sunday at 5:00am here in Phoenix (the same time they step off in Chicago), I'm going to run the "Cindy Trent is Going to Get Better Scottsdale Canal 1/2 Marathon!" Meaning, I'll just use the Nike+ GPS on my shoe (which posts to our StrongFamilies Facebook page), and will run the 13.2 miles here in town so I can be with Cindy this weekend.

I'm going to send out an email to all those who have already agreed to sponsor the race in Chicago, to explain the situation. I simply can't leave Cindy right now, so while people can certainly pull their sponsorship, I'm still going to run the 13.2 for StrongFamilies.

If they'd like, or if you'd like to help the ministry, then just email jefft@strongfamilies.com (that's Jeff Thibault, our director of training for StrongFamilies) and let him know you're in for the "Cindy Trent is Going to Get Better" run as a sponsor!

As a ministry, all gifts are tax deductible and go directly to helping us help couples, singles and families!

Thanks for your prayers and understanding!

John Trent, Ph.D.

Sponsor John as he runs for StrongFamilies!

2010-07-22T09:20:00.000-07:00

There are so many couples and families who need encouragement, hope and help! Join the Team that’s helping to sponsor Dr. John Trent as he runs the Rock & Roll Half Marathon on Sunday August 1st, in Chicago!

How do I sponsor Dr. Trent?

Just pick an amount, ($1.00, $5.00, $25.00, $100 or more) that you’d like to pledge “per mile.” A half-marathon is 13.2 miles.
Email Jeff Thibault (our Director of Operations and Training at StrongFamilies) at JeffT@strongfamilies.com (That’s Jeff “t” for Thibault at StrongFamilies.com) with the amount you’d like to pledge and your mailing (snail mail) address. (That way we can send you a donation receipt after you send in a check or go online and donate your pledge online).
We also have a special gift for all of our sponsors! A signed book from our online bookstore! Just visit StrongFamilies.com and go to our bookstore and pick out the book you’d like. You'll find more details about how on the sponsorship page here as well.

How do I know how John did at the race?

It’s a pretty sure bet that John won’t win the race – but he is persistent and barring a huge piece of space debris falling on him or some other unlikely catastrophe, it’s likely he’ll finish the race! Whatever happens – you’ll know exactly how far (and how slow) he ran as Jeff Thibault will be sending you an email when John lands in Chicago to get ready for the race, then another email on that Sunday morning that gives you his start time, split time (the half-way point) and his finish time! All runners at the Rock & Roll get a “chip” that goes on your shoe. Jeff will actually get email updates sent to him as John passes each point in the race! Is technology amazing or what!

You can find more details about the race and how you can sponsor John by visiting the StrongFamilies Sponsor Page.

So please join us as we support and encourage healthy and StrongFamilies!

Calling all sponsors!

2010-05-18T10:49:00.000-07:00

Sponsor Dr. John Trent as He Runs for StrongFamilies®! ...and get a signed book to help Strengthen Your Family!

There are so many couples and families who need encouragement, hope and help! Join the Team that’s helping to sponsor Dr. John Trent as he runs the Rock & Roll ½ Marathon on Sunday, June 6th in San Diego and/or again on Sunday August 1st, at the Rock & Roll 1/2 Chicago!

How do I sponsor Dr. Trent?

A half-marathon is 13.2 miles.

Just pick an amount, ($1.00, $5.00, $25.00, $100 or more) that you’d like to pledge “per mile.”

Email Jeff Thibault (our Director of Operations and Training at StrongFamilies) at jefft@strongfamiles.com (That’s Jeff “T” for Thibault at StrongFamilies.com) with the amount you’d like to pledge and your mailing (snail mail) address. (That way we can send you a donation receipt after you send in a check or go online and donate your pledge online). You'll receive one book per sponsor after your donation is received, and please let us know in your pledge email what one book you’ve picked.

You can find more information on the sponsor sheet here.

Two more ways you can help...

First, please print out or email the link to the Sponsor Sheet and hand/send it out to friends and relatives who want to help couples grow in their love for each other and the Lord, and who want to help parents build strong families and become the spiritual trainers in their home! The needs of families are great and your gift is tremendously helpful to us as we reach out to families across our country.

Second, are you already running the Rock & Roll ½ Marathon in either San Diego or Chicago?
If so, consider joining the StrongFamilies running team and get people to sponsor StrongFamilies on your behalf! Right now, our “team” is just John – but if you know someone who’s running or are running yourself and want to help out a great cause, email Jeff at JeffT@StrongFamilies.com!

A 2-degree Suggestion to Bless Your Child

2010-04-27T13:32:00.000-07:00

Take sticky notes to their school!

It’s hugely important to give our child our Blessing. (Genesis 27:34, Esau cries out after missing his father’s “blessing, “Bless me, even me also, o My father!”).

Here’s a small, 2 Degree suggestion on one way to do just that the next time you go to your child’s “Open House” or end of the year activities at school! When our girls were in grade school (and all the way through high school actually), I always took “sticky notes” with me to their “Parent/Teacher” nights. Ahead of time, I’d write lots of positive statements like, “Praying for you!,” and “You’re an awesome kid!” and “You’re an even neater kid then we prayed for!” and “You are a really good friend to others.”

Then we went from room to room (or stayed in the same room in grade school), I’d open up their desk, take a book, folder or notebook, and slip in a sticky note. One of the five “elements” of the Blessing is “spoken message” and a second is “attaching high value.”

The next day, when your child is at school and opens their notebook or book and finds a note of “blessing” from you – you’re making their day and blessing their heart! (Suggestion from The Dad’s Everything Book for Daughters, John Trent, Ph.D., Zondervan books)

Enter to win an autographed John Trent book of your choice!

2010-04-22T08:42:00.000-07:00

Are you a StrongFamilies Facebook Fan?

Here are some questions that could win you an autographed book to help strengthen your family!
• Have you been impacted by Dr. John Trent's ministry to families over the years?
• Have you read one of the books he's authored and co-authored, like The Blessing, The Two Sides of Love, The 2 Degree Difference or The Treasure Tree?
• Have you been to a Strongfamilies seminar that Dr. Trent has taught or heard him on the radio?
Here's the last question!
• Have you joined Facebook as a way to stay up to date on the latest news, and information about family, friends, ministries, and causes that are dear to your heart?

If so, we encourage you to become a fan of Strongfamilies on Facebook by clicking the "LIKE" button at the top of the page. By doing so, you'll be entered for a chance to win ONE of TEN Dr. John Trent books we'll be giving away. Plus he'll personally autograph it for you!

Once you're a fan, you'll receive Dr. Trent's latest blog posts, event and book announcements, as well as ongoing communication with the Strongfamilies community all on your Facebook page. It's one of the easiest ways to stay in touch. And it's easier then you think to win a free signed book from Dr. Trent.

Here's how!

Contest Rules
• Visit the StrongFamilies Online Bookstore to decide which book you'd like to receive if you win.
• Click this link to go to the StrongFamilies Facebook page.
• Click on the "LIKE" button to become a fan.
• In the "What's on your mind?" box, tell us the book you've chosen and briefly one important aspect of having a Strong Family.
• That's all you need to do!
• Then when we reach 500 Fans we'll have drawings for 10 of you to each receive your choice of one free autographed book from the StrongFamilies online bookstore...and the winner could be you!
• Are you already a Facebook fan? Don't worry, you'll still be included in the drawing from the first 500, then 1,000 fans.
• But don't forget to spread the word, so we can have the drawing as soon as possible. Once we reach 500 soon - we'll round up the names and choose a winner! Remember that special book could make a great Mother's Day, Father's Day, wedding, birthday, baby or graduation gift.

We look forward to seeing you on Facebook!

What a Trip! (Part 3 of 3)

2010-04-02T05:26:00.000-07:00

If you missed parts 1 or 2, then click here to start from the beginning of the adventure.

7:00PM – Off to the StrongFamilies – Strong Airmen Conference!

There is a great group present for a StrongFamilies – Strong Airmen Conference. I get to talk to them about their incredible, God-given strengths – and how they can head home and better “value” their spouse and loved ones…
And I get to tell them about The Blessing – and how those 5 things the Bible tells us to give our children, spouse and friends can transform their relationships – and we give them all a “blessing coin” as a reminder for them to live out the Blessing when they get home!

9:00PM – Conference ends and something amazing happens! I’m one of the few civilians inducted into "The Order of the Blue Nose"!

It begins with Col. Gentry requesting that everyone stand at attention, and then “Chappy” Haltom is instructed to take the blue “chalk” (that’s used on the tip of a pool cue) and rub it on my nose!

Then I’m handed this plaque that will be one of my most treasured possessions.

Click to enlarge the photo below to see what it says.

10:00PM – I sign the last book and talk to the last Airman and then head back to my “billet” for a few hours sleep…

4:00AM The sun rises over Thule (within three weeks, it will be up for 24 hours-a-day) and I get ready to head home to Arizona.

I finally make it back on Saturday, just in time to mow the yard in my shorts in the 85 degree weather…

Thank you again so much for your prayers and encouragement! It was a non-stop (little sleep) opportunity to be of whatever help I could be to honor the power of prayer, challenge some incredible leaders with thoughts on staying strong and focused, then get to “bless” a large group of people who want to go home from Greenland and have a StrongFamily!

If you’re ever near the StrongFamilies office, stop by and see the “coin” Col. Gentry and Captain Haltom gave me (it’s a big deal to get a “coin” from an officer – usually meaning you’ve done a pretty good job) and of course, my “induction” papers as a Knight of the Blue Nose!

What a Trip! (Part 2 of 3)

2010-03-31T15:02:00.000-07:00

(if you missed part 1 of the trip, go here to the previous post to see how it all started)

I have been flying all night to get to Thule AFB and get to speak at the luncheon. (Every Air Force Base across the world does a Prayer Luncheon – Not the same as The National Day of Prayer here, but similar!) I spoke on how prayer can break down the toughest walls that men and women can face in their jobs – and families.

1:30PM – Get a Briefing with the Top Brass!

These are extremely busy, overworked and serious people. But they roll out the red carpet for me and I get a “briefing” – not unlike what they just did for a general who had been on base a few weeks before!

Here’s the base commander of the 821 Air Base Group, Col. Christopher Gentry, and Lt. Col Jim Hickman, his 2nd in command. While I can’t repeat all they do, in short these men and women are tasked with spotting, identifying, and assessing the threat level of anything coming over the North Pole and toward the United States and it’s Allies. In short, the 280 airmen are the very tip of the spear, looking every day, 24 hours-a-day, for anything that might need to be “knocked down” before it reaches our shores.

While their primary mission is our defense, they also do a tremendous amount with groups like NASA who do mapping and satellite tracking work from Thule. And if you’re an Arctic explorer – like many trips staged by National Geographic – you start your trek to the North Pole from Thule! Add in Danish planes flying in and joint Canadian/American air exercises – and you have just landed at the home of “multi-tasking!

Please pray for these men and women who help so many. They live in 24-hour dark for months, and then 24-hour sun for months (And “Chappy” Haltom told me that as many airmen have tremendous challenges with the sun never going down (and their brains never feeling like going to sleep) as those who only want to sleep when it’s dark 24/7!

3:00PM – I get to go to Dundas Village –

The Danish Air Officer wants to take me to Dundas Village, an Eskimo (Inuit) village with huge sled dogs and a few homes. One of the last inhabited places between Thule and the North Pole.

We drive through the snow and wind. Even with four wheel drive, we only get close enough to take some long distance pictures of the village. (Visibility drops to zero several times).

I get to see an Arctic Hare! Incredible! Many people have been on base for months and haven’t seen one. They have long pencil-thin legs and fluffy white bodies – they look like a “Q-Tip” rabbit! We saw one on the way out and two on the way back! An awesome experience to get to traverse the Polar Ice Cap – even if we couldn’t see the road several times! (My pictures of the “hare” didn’t turn out. This photo courtesy of the Canadian Museum of Nature gives you an idea of what they look like.)

5:00PM Officer’s Dinner and Training

Because I’ve spoken on leadership and team-building over the years to many groups (including military groups), I was asked by the Col. Gentry, the Base commander (pictured below) to share with his top officers and enlisted men.

What an incredible honor. And before I spoke, I get to hear Col. Gentry go all the way around the table (probably 20 officers and the top enlisted men and women present) and hear him introduce his staff to me. Talk about giving the Blessing! I was blown away by the way he addressed each person on his staff. I know parents and bosses who have never verbally honored their spouse or children or co-workers as specifically, and powerfully as this outstanding leader did that night. Absolutely amazing – and I found out from “Chappy” Haltom later that it was totally unexpected (but incredibly appreciated by everyone)!

He had already heard me talk to him about “Blessing” others – and he did a great job of doing just that!

Then I shared what little wisdom I have to a very “thirsty” group. They ask questions and are hungry for anything you can share that can help them do their job even better, be a better team, and go home and be better with their families. An incredible time.

It's been a busy day, but I still have one more conference to go...more on that in my next post. Thank you for coming along on this journey. It was an honor to be there!

What a Trip! (Part 1 of 3)

2010-03-30T15:57:00.000-07:00

Thank you for your prayers as I headed out for the “Top of the World! Thule Air Force Base, Greenland!

Here’s a quick, 24-hour tour of one of the great honors I’ve had, in flying and trying to be of encouragement to some of America’s finest airmen and civilian contractors!

8:00AM Phoenix, Arizona…

It started with that long flight from Phoenix, Arizona, to Baltimore, MD airport. I land at 6:00pm. I eat dinner and try to find a place to sleep because we don’t fly out to Thule until 2:00am!

2:00AM We begin our flight to Thule, Air For Base – from where we land, we will be a 25 minute flight to the North Pole!

There is one flight a week to Thule… and one flight out. I’m on the flight in (and the flight out the next morning!). I try to grab some sleep at the airport because my flight doesn’t take off until 2:00am! I was incredibly fortunate on the outbound flight to get one of the two officer's seats in the back of the passenger compartment of a converted cargo plane! We’re given blankets. We need them. It’s freezing when we get up to altitude! 'Little different than leather seats in Southwest Airlines!

10:00AM – Thule, Greenland

Eight hours later, we are landing “on the ice” in Thule, Greenland. We are 800 miles north of the Arctic Circle! The runway itself is built on the permafrost – meaning the runway (and all the buildings there) literally lie (float) on the polar ice!

We’re told over the speaker by the pilot that the winds are significant and our landing will be very challenging. Unlike many airports, there is only one runway. Meaning, you can’t “turn around” and land from another direction when there are cross-winds.

To put our landing into perspective, I am a 3 Million Miler with American Airlines - all domestic flights. Meaning I’ve been on a lot of flights over the past 30 years (and that’s just on American!). Over the years, as you might imagine, there have been times when the flights I’ve been on experienced turbulence – sometimes severe turbulence.

Without question, however, this was the most turbulent decent and most white-knuckle landing that I’ve ever been through in my life. Nothing before was even a close second! The NASA engineer seated next to me has been flying up to Thule for a decade. He says it qualified as the worst landing he’d been through! (Which was comforting as it seemed like a semi-controlled crash to me!).

The first thing I was supposed to do, as soon as we landed, was to speak at a National Prayer Luncheon. Trust me – anyone on that plane with any religious convictions was already praying when we were coming down through the gusting winds and blowing snow!!! Mt. Dundas (above) is the first thing you see as you’re landing – only we could barely see it! Right after we landed the runway was closed, and the wind and snow created a white-out!

10:15am – From Danish Customs to The Top of the World Club!

I was handed a huge parka before the door opened, staggered against the wind as we walked from the plane to the terminal, and went through Danish customs! (Having a Greenland stamp in your passport after that landing was a must!). Lots of very large Air Force security MP’s to greet us. No nonsense until you get out of security. (This is a very secure base as you might imagine with the mission they’re tasked to do). I’m taken right to the Officers Club (The Top of the World Club) where the National Prayer Day Luncheon was ready to take place.

Here are some of America’s finest Airmen (women are called Airmen too) along with some of the base civilians working at the base who were able to come.

My host throughout the trip was Captain David Haltom. Here’s Captain Haltom, below introducing me as I get ready to speak for the luncheon. What an awesome, godly, servant and all around great guy! Dave spent a year dodging IED’s in Iraq as he ministered to the troops there, then was told that he had been selected to go to Greenland. His first child (a precious daughter) was born while he was in Iraq.

He has seen her all of two weeks between deployments before going Greenland. Greenland is considered a combat post, meaning no wives or children – except for one week during your year long deployment. During his wife’s one-week trip, they got pregnant with their second child! (A tremendous answer to prayer for them). They are having a boy, who is due to join the family two weeks after Dave gets home from Greenland! (Pray the baby doesn’t come early! He really wants to be there for this birth!). THINK ABOUT THE SACRIFICE THIS FAMILY HAS MADE. He’s been gone a year to Iraq, gets a few weeks home, then on to Greenland. That’s basically two years apart form your family.

Two great things about being asked to serve in Greenland. First, you’re considered one of the “best of the best” if you get to go to Thule. That’s because the mission is so important, and the base is so small, you have to be great at what you’re doing. Most positions at Thule are “one deep,” meaning, you have to be able to jump right in and do the same job that several people are tasked with doing at a normal base (no back-up person). Dave is a licensed professional counselor, and a pastor to the 280 airmen on the base! He works seven days a week, and loves, encourages and blesses the officers and Airmen. What a guy!

The second great thing about getting to serve at Thule is that – In most cases (not all but 95%) you get your pick of your next posting! So David and his wife are going to an air base in Hawaii after the birth of their second child!

Here’s a picture of what you get to see for a year when you live and serve on Thule! It went down to 8 below with 40 mph winds while I was there – but warmed up to 20 above one afternoon! (And remember, I’m there at a good time of year!).

That's it for today's post. Come back tomorrow to hear about the rest of the adventure...

I'm on my way to Greenland!

2010-03-24T10:03:00.000-07:00

I'm excited to report that by the time you see this, I'll be on my way to Thule Air Force Base in Greenland where I'll have the privilege of speaking at their National Day of Prayer Luncheon and working with their officers on team building on Thursday.

It will be a quick, but arduous trip, but I'm always honored to work with our military personnel who have sacrificed so much on our behalf.

Please keep us in your prayers.

You can click here to see the weather forecast. It's going to be chilly, to say the least! I definitely won't be in Phoenix anymore.

Here's the poster that they're using to promote my visit.

What an honor to serve them!

Check back soon for more updates and photos from the trip.

Being a Father Deemed Men's Most Important Job!

2010-03-23T13:29:00.000-07:00

Here's some encouraging news!

If you think that dads get a bad rap in movies and television - you're right! Fathers are pictured as lame at best by the media and Hollywood - but that's not true in real life!

In a recent Rassmussen Report, 72% of non-married adults and adults without children agreed with this statement:

"The most important role a man can fulfill today is being a father!"

Is that cool or what! In short, three-out-of-four American adults feel that being a dad is a man's greatest calling!

To further that point, A father's influence upon a child's academic success later in life is felt the most when he's involved from the very beginning, according to a new study in the Journal of Educational Psychology.

Brent McBride, a professor of human development at University of Illinois says that if fathers establish early on that they're going to actively engage in the parenting process they're much more likely to continue that engagement (often with positive results) as they grow older.

"We need to help fathers realize that what they do is really important. If we wait and only get fathers involved when kids are having problems in school, that's too late."

"We need to look at the bigger picture, because these analysis all point to the same conclusion: that men and women each contribute uniquely to child outcomes," he said.

That's why it's so important that we help men discover what fatherhood really means and give them a model toward healthy and positive relationships with their child."

Pass on "The Blessing" this Easter

2010-03-10T15:57:00.000-08:00

Here's a fun idea for passing on the "blessing" to your child or loved one this Easter.

Put a “Blessing Coin” in their Easter Basket!

It’s always great to fill your child’s Easter Basket with chocolate, or colored hard boiled eggs – but this year, how about adding something that can warm their hearts as well as satisfy their sweet tooth?

Children, of any age, long for their parents' “Blessing.” No matter your age, the approval of your parents affects how you view yourself and your ability to pass that approval along to your children, spouse and friends. If you’ve got a child – or other loved one in your home – The Blessing Coin (about the size of a half dollar) is a great way to give them your “Blessing,” along with something sweet!

On the back of the Blessing Coin are the five elements of the Blessing that each of us needs from those who care about us. Those five things are as old as the Old Testament, and as new as the most current research into what makes a strong family! And when you give your child a coin, make sure that you give them your “Blessing” at the same time. Your “Blessing” gives your child an empowering sense that you love, accept, and value them.

What are those “five” elements of the Blessing? They spell out, B.L.E.S.S. – on the back of your coin…(you can click on the photo to enlarge and see the details)

Be committed
Lovingly touch
Express high value
See potential
Say it

Here’s an example of how to “Bless” your child when you give them their coin, putting all five elements of the Blessing into practice at the same time!

First, give your child their Easter Basket and ask them to look for a favorite chocolate (or favorite candy if they’re one of the few kids on the planet that don’t like chocolate!). While they’re munching, ask them to look for something else that’s really valuable that you want to show them, that you’ve put in their basket… their Blessing Coin that you (or you and your spouse) want to give them.

When they find the coin, explain to them why this is such a valuable coin, and what it represents from you. Here’s the kind of thing you can say (modified to fit your child of course).

“Sweetheart (or “Son” or put in their name), as I hold your hand and as I put this coin in your hand, I want you to know how much I love you, and how committed I am to being there for you all my life. I want you to know, right now, that if I could pick any child on the whole planet to love and bless – I’d choose you. I believe you are a gift of God to me, and I know that in the future, God has built so many great things into your life and heart, that you’re going to do great things to help others, and to be a Blessing one day to your own family. So thank you for being an incredible kid, and I want you to keep this coin so that you can always remember that no matter what, you have my “Blessing.”

In that short paragraph, are all five elements of the Blessing! There’s...

“Be Committed” - words shared that highlight your commitment to love him or her, and to be there for them all of their life
“Loving Touch” as you hold their hand and give them their coin
“Expressing Value, high value - as you let them know that out of all the kids in the world, you’re grateful God gave them to you
You've “Seen potential” in them for a great future, and that their strengths and gifts are things God can use in the future to help their own family and others
and you’ve “Said it!” verbally! It’s so important to verbally “say” a Blessing – not just to assume that your child “knows” you love them! (I’ve had people in the counseling office who are in their seventies and still long and wish that – even once – they would have “heard verbally” their parent’s Blessing on their life!)

Obviously, if your child is a three year old, they may not understand all you’re saying – but give them your “Blessing” anyway. And if they’re five years old or older, they’ll “get it.” And don’t be surprised if that simple coin becomes a special symbol of that time that Mom and/or Dad, “Gave me their Blessing.”

Lord bless you and your family as you pass on the Blessing!

Need more help in understanding how the “Blessing” can be a life-changing and transforming gift for your child or others? (Your child of any age, by the way!) Then visit our website (www.StrongFamilies.com ). You’ll find a book called, The Blessing, as well as encouragement to live out “The Blessing” in marriages and families, through your church, and as a key to doing “faith@home”.

You can also visit the online store to find "Bedtime Blessings" Volume 1 and 2 - books that you can tuck into your child's Easter basket and read to them throughout the year. What an awesome way to leave a legacy of love to those that God has entrusted to your care!

And let us know what happens. We'd love to hear your stories about the impact that this small, but meaningful gesture has on your children and loved ones. Keep us "posted".

Have a joyous Easter!

Men, do I hear an Amen!

2010-02-24T08:20:00.000-08:00

(Ladies, maybe one day it will be high heels!)

Right now, an AMA (American Medical Association) committee is considering a resolution that supports adopting guidelines for a dress code for doctors that minimizes the spread of infections.

There’s evidence that doctors’ neckties actually can spread disease – meaning there may soon be no “ties” in the hospital or doctor’s office!

Lord, may that kind of thinking “spread” all across the country in the days to come!

Ready When the Gate Opens

2010-02-17T08:32:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, I had the chance to go to one of the most gorgeous places on the planet; Kodiak Island, Alaska. From there we flew in a small seaplane to an island called Afognak in order to go salmon fishing on some of the most beautiful rivers in the world. But what I also remember is the “Gate Keepers” I met there.

As we were walking in the wilderness up one river, we suddenly came upon a small house. During the endless summer days and nights in Alaska, the cabin was occupied by a state game and fish employee, (and in this case, with his wife and their three young children as well). The game warden was there to operate the “Salmon Weir.” It’s basically a huge gate that swings shut, or swings open, so that the salmon coming upstream can either continue their journey, or have to stop and wait.

If you’re not familiar with the journey that these salmon take to get to this gate, it’s an amazing picture of God’s miracle of creation. The “gate keeper” told us that these very same huge salmon had once hatched in these beautiful mountain streams. They stay in the shallows until they grow big enough, and then they travel downstream to the bay and finally out into the ocean. After they grow large and fearsome in the rough, cold Arctic waters, God turns on an internal homing signal that points them back to Afognak. “Back” in some cases means beginning a journey of two thousand miles or more in order to end up in the very stream where they were born, and where they now seek to lay their eggs.

The salmon gate provides two services for the fish and the fish mangers. First, it allows the game and fish employee to count the number of salmon heading upstream (an incredible feat with the hundreds of salmon that congregate below the gate when it’s shut). That allows a forecast to be made of the amount of salmon they expect to harvest that year. But the gate also provides a place to rest, for the salmon to breathe and gather strength before continuing their arduous journey upstream.

It was astounding to stand above the gate and look at the thousands of salmon waiting for the gate to open. Milling around. Darting back and forth. Looking like carbon copies of those huge fish you see on the wall at Red Lobster. Only now a huge, living, churning, mob. And then finally, the “gate keeper” opens the gate, and they shoot through and on toward their goal!

Or at least most of them do.

For whatever reason, there are some that when that gate finally opens – simply stay put. They’ve been stopped in their journey and blocked from their goal. Now, when an unseen hand finally opens the gate, it’s like that “open gate” means something for others, but not for them.

Which (I’m sure you’re waiting for this!) is something that’s going on right now in the lives of many people we minister to and counsel with. There are thousands of us right now who are in “transition.” I’ll define a transition as a major movement in our life, often outside our control, that stops us in our tracks, and only sometime later, opens up a new season and way of life for us to go.

For so many people today, they’ve seen their goals and dreams and “pathway” blocked in these tough times. And the longer they sit in a pool through being unemployed or underused or simply forced to “wait” for something out of their control to “open up,” the more difficult it can be to believe that the goals they once had were real, or were ever really achievable. And for too many, when a gate finally does open – all after the waiting and uncertainty – they stay put instead of pressing forward toward what God has next.

My prayer for you – if you’ve had a gate close on your career or “well planned” life-story – is that you’ll stay “anxious” and expectant for the time when the Lord opens the gate for you. Being “expectant” wasn’t easy for the people of the Old Testament to keep waiting for a Messiah to come. It wasn’t easy for King David who was told by God’s Prophet that he would be “King” – and then was chased into the desert and had to flee for his life! It certainly could have seemed to David when Saul hunted him down, that that gate would never open. But that wasn’t his mindset – even in the cave where he wrote,

Psalm. 43:5

"Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why are you disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God."

That whole Psalm is the prayer of someone waiting for a gate to open – but waiting in faith and expectancy of God’s better day.

I know it’s incredibly hard (or at least it’s hard for me) to mill around and wait for the “gate” to open, even if you’re with lots of other “fish” or fishers of men. But God will open the door for the “what’s next” for us, in His time, if we’ll just keep trusting, and exercising our faith, and knowing the day of our “open gate” will come. And when it does, we’re ready to race upstream toward all He has for us.

Is your gate closed right now? Will you be ready when it opens?

Photo credits: #1 ADF & G, #2 Thomas Quinn, # 3 RangerRoy - Flickr

Here's a parenting tip that's on the tip of your tongue!

2010-01-26T11:39:00.000-08:00

Things had to change at the “Integrated Arts Academy” at H.O. Wheeler Elementary School in Burlington, VT. Students had been sent out of class 600 times the previous year for misbehavior.

So guess what “changed?” “Teachers and Administrators at the school heaped at least 12,000 compliments in 2009 on students who follow the rules.”

And the result of catching students doing what’s “right” and saying, “That’s great!”

Suspensions dropped by more then half, from 74 days to 21 days, and students were told to leave the classroom 198 times, down from the 600 times a year ago!

And guess what?

If sending your child to “time-out” is getting up in the “600” range, how about pouring on praise for what they do “right” as well!

You know it’s “officially” Winter when people’s tongues are getting stuck to poles!

2010-01-19T14:50:00.000-08:00

Are you getting snow in your part of the country? Northern Arizona is getting tons of it this week!

I hope over the Holidays, you were able to watch a Christmas classic, “The Christmas Story.”

If you haven't seen it, it’s the story of a young boy who wants a Red Ryder B-B gun – and his friend who, on a dare sticks his tongue onto a frozen pole on the playground!

This just in. “Boy’s Tongue Freed From Pole!”

In a scene right out of the movie, Boise, Idaho fire officials were able to free a boy whose tongue was stuck to a metal fence pole! “I’ve been doing this 20 years and this is the first "tongue frozen to a pole" call I’ve had.” Boise Fire Captain Bill Tinsley said.

A woman driving by saw the boy with his tongue stuck to the fence and called 911. Once the firefighters poured warm water on the pole, his tongue was released and they let him walk to school.

The only thing you get from sticking your tongue on fence posts here in the Phoenix area is a burned tongue!

We hope you are warm, dry and free to roam as you read this.

The New State Bird of Arizona

2010-01-12T12:25:00.000-08:00

Think you have it bad with "speed cameras" where you live?

Here in Arizona, I think the new State Bird is going to be named for the speed cameras that are perched above so many intersections near where I live.

However, in the "Things Could be Worse!" category - how would you like to receive a speeding ticket like this?

Geneva, Switzerland-- Associated Press - 1/10/2010

"European countries are increasingly pegging speeding fines to income as a way to punish wealthy speeders who would otherwise ignore tickets. Advocates say a $290,000 speed ticket slapped on a millionaire Ferrari driver in Switzerland was a fair and well-deserved example of the trend! In fact, Germany, France, Austria and the Nordic countries also issue punishments based on a person's wealth."

So the next time (It's already happened twice to me, unfortunately) I get a photo radar ticket in my used Civic -- at least it won't be for $290,000!

Drive safely and Lord bless,

Ready for something “real” instead of a New Year’s Resolution?

2010-01-05T12:07:00.000-08:00

How about making the decision to make a 2 Degree change in your health, your home and your heart for God – not a “180 Degree” change that you’ll never keep.

Like finding a friend and the two of you committing to doing (and bugging each other to do) ten sit ups and five push ups a night. Or drinking five glasses of water a day. Or having one dessert every other night, instead of every night.

For more ideas on making 2 Degree changes in your home and heart for God, click here to read about "The 2 Degree Difference"!

Two Trees This Christmas

2009-12-15T08:56:00.000-08:00

We finally did it! This year, we got our outside lights up the day after Thanksgiving. That sets the record as our family’s earliest time ever to decorate the outside of the house. We did it early so that we could have Laura, who was home from college for Thanksgiving, help with stringing the lights. But as early as we were on the outside lights – we just got our tree up inside yesterday! (We can’t blame that on Laura – just being too busy!). Sure it’s a little late, but it’s up and shining brightly! (See picture).

I’m all for putting up Christmas trees as we get ready to celebrate the birth of Jesus (whether early or late) but I wanted you to see a different kind of tree as well. The other day in the StrongFamilies Sunday School class that my wife and I teach at Scottsdale Bible Church, I asked people to share one of their “Christmas traditions” with us. We heard some great things, but one tradition I’d never heard before and wanted to pass along to you.

Joel and Marcela Waggener have a very different kind of Christmas tree. In fact, it’s so cool – the Trent family decided that starting this year, we’re going to put up “Two Trees.”

Our “normal” tree is covered with lights and with all the Christmas ornaments we’ve collected over the years. Glass ornaments that say things like, “Our first year of Marriage 1979” and “Baby’s First Christmas 1986” and another with “1990.” There are two homemade ornaments that the kids made when they were young and fun ones like the stingray ornament from a vacation to the Cayman Islands years ago. But in addition to this tree, we’re going to get a small second tree as well. Why two trees??

In Joel and Marcela’s house, they have a tree (see picture) that has some very unusual decorations. In fact, on their tree they have a bagel, adoption papers, small maps, miniature construction trucks, a bar of soap, and a door! Here’s why…

Each of these items can be placed on the tree to remind us of our relationship and identity in Christ and to provide an opportunity to share the Good News with those who come into our home. For example, Marcela had a workman at the house the other day and when he saw the tree he said, “What kind of tree is that?” She shared with him about why they put bagels and maps and soap on the tree – and the workman got tears in his eyes! Here’s what she shared with him…

The Bagel - John 6:35 – is a picture of how Jesus is the Bread of Life

A 12” Ruler - 1 John 4:9-10 – is a picture of how God does not measure our performance, because HE was satisfied with Jesus’ dying for us on the Cross.

The American flag - Philippians 3:20 – We love our country, but our most important citizenship is in heaven.

A Bar of soap - 1 John 1:9 - Jesus forgives us and washes away all of our sins.

Some small Maps - John 14:6 - Jesus is the only Way

A Door – Revelation 3:20 – Behold I stand at the door and knock… anyone who opens the door, opens their heart to a relationship with Jesus!

Marcela got the idea from someone sharing at a Women's Bible study several years ago. It's based on a booklet by Darlene Danninger, called the “Jesus and Me Tree”. More information about the book can be found at Darlene’s website here.

Darlene believes the idea has been around for many many years...it was parents and grandparents ways of putting Christ back in Christmas in a very simple and inexpensive way...they used what they had in their home or items they could make out of paper or clay. (Their tree is shown too.)

All that to say, you might want to have “two trees” next Christmas! A great idea to share the “why” of Christmas along with the tradition and joy of Christmas!

Next Blog: Choose The 2 Degree Difference - instead of making a New Years Resolution...

...and GO FROGS! (TCU – where I graduated) is in the Fiesta Bowl January 4^th!.

2009-12-09T07:46:00.000-08:00

Showing our Kids a “Great Light” this Christmas

Several years ago, on a rainy August day, two young adventurers decided to scale the highest summit wholly within Switzerland, called Mount Dom, near Zermatt, Switzerland. At 14,942 feet, it's higher even than the Matterhorn.

Even though they were inexperienced in mountain climbing, they were “in shape” college students and they felt confident in their mountain climbing abilities. Too confident, it turned out. For at noon, despite deteriorating weather, they boldly strode forth from the tiny village of Randa at the base of the Dom. Their goal was a house halfway up the mountain called the “High Hut” where they would spend the night before tackling the icy summit the next morning.

The two moved quickly up the forested trail as the rain continued to fall and even intensify. The sky darkened as they climbed upward, and the temperature dropped significantly. Because their goal was the "high hut" staffed by the Swiss Alpine Club, not the summit, they hadn't bothered to bring cold-weather gear. They soon regretted that fact as the constant rain soaked through their inadequate clothing.

At six o'clock P.M. they were still climbing when the rain suddenly turned to snow. They had long since crossed the timberline, and the trail before them was increasingly difficult to follow. By eight o'clock P.M. darkness had fallen, and they both knew they weren't just lost – they were in life-threatening trouble. They were soaked, shivering, and at risk of hypothermia. In the pitch-black darkness they had no way of knowing whether they were still headed toward the "high hut." Their path had disappeared, and they carried no tent or sleeping bags to shelter them from the storm or help them escape the cold.

Suddenly, just when their situation was most desperate, something miraculous happened. From a great distance away, a tiny light began to flicker. Even at a distance the faint glow looked as bright as a lighthouse beacon to those two shivering, frightened young men.

Where did it come from? Before retiring for the night, the keeper of the Dom's "high hut" had decided to step outside and place a kerosene lamp next to the door – just in case a beacon might be needed by anyone caught in the worsening storm. Encouraged, the boys pressed forward and in a few minutes found shelter that saved their lives.

That true story says much about the world our children face – and something we can do to help them. Children begin a journey in life full of high aspirations, often naive to the fact that they are walking right into the gathering darkness of a fallen world. On their own, even with loads of self-confidence and the vitality of youth, they will face a world growing darker and colder to God, His love, and His life.

Those two climbers couldn't find their own way that night; they needed a light to guide them to life and safety ... and someone willing to put that light where it could be seen.

This Christmas season, we can do something similar to what that “High Hut” keeper. In a world” to our children. The “light of the world” Himself was announced by His Father when He put a great “light” (a star) in the sky – and star that Wise Men and shepherds -- and wise men and women today -- still follow. The Child they found would become none other then the savior of all those who would look to Him in faith.

Or put in biblical terms, “The people who were sitting in darkness saw a great light, and those who were sitting in the land and shadow of death, upon them a light dawned.” Matthew 4:16.

May the Lord’s light and love shine on you and your family this Christmas season – and may we all keep holding out that light to our children, friends, family and a world that need His light!

2009-12-01T07:43:00.000-08:00

Several years ago, I read an incredible story that I put into a book I wrote that’s filled with beautiful pictures by my friend, Thomas Kinkade. The book is called, The Light of Home, and I’ve never put the story online. However, in these challenging times, I hope it encourages you and your family this Christmas. John Trent

God Changes a Marine’s Heart with a Smile on Christmas

It was December 24, 1944. Christmas that year was a tough time for our country, especially for one young Marine sitting stiffly in an overcrowded train. This was day two of four days and four nights that Corporal Edward Andrusko would spend traveling by train from San Diego to New York. Each passenger car was packed with sailors, soldiers, and Marines trying to get home for Christmas.

Already they had traveled through bleak deserts, a blizzard in Denver, and what seemed like endless frozen prairies and farmland. The whole trip inched by under unrelenting gray clouds, but time didn’t seem to matter. Nothing seemed to matter. Recovering from his third wound received in battle, and with a painful cause of malaria, Corporal Andrusko would arrive home in New York the day after Christmas. Even that seemed fitting.

“I would miss Christmas at home by a day,” he wrote afterward. “My parents had split up, and I had no home to go to. My girlfriend of four years sent me a Dear John letter, saying she had waited too long for me to return and found someone else. And worst of all, when I was well enough for duty, I could be sent overseas to battle again.”

Darkness had fallen and the rain had stopped at a small, dimly lit railroad station about two hours outside Chicago. Large snowdrifts blocked any view from the train. In that cold, dark tunnel of a station, peace and light and love – even thoughts of a loving God – seemed nonexistent. Earlier in the evening, Andrusko had spoken with a fellow Marine nicknamed “Ski” who was returning home, minus his right arm. He remembers, “Ski and I agreed that we had both became near atheists and cynics after three years of war.”

For one Marine at least, all that would change with a smile.

“It came upon a midnight clear…”

Few men were awake as they sat at the station, but Andrusko’s latest war wound and the malaria his body fought made sleep a challenge – particularly having to sleep sitting up the entire trip. At that darkest moment in his young life, the door at the other end of the train car opened.

From Andrusko’s seat far in the back, he could barely see a small boy and an elderly lady enter the car. He lost sight of them altogether as they walked slowly down the isle. Apparently they were looking for a seat. Andrusko closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but a noise near him caused him to open his eyes.

Standing right in front of him was the young boy and the elderly lady.

“Welcome home and Merry Christmas, Marine.” The young boy smiled as he extended his little hand. “My grandmother and I would like to give you a gift and thank you for serving our country.” The little boy shook the wounded Marine’s hand and handed him a crumpled one dollar bill. His grandmother put her arm around him and said, “God bless you.” And then they both smiled and said, “Merry Christmas, and goodbye.”

Andrusko asked them to wait and tried to grab his sea bag from under the seat to try to find a candy bar or some kind of gift he could give them, but when he looked up, they were gone – so quickly that he wondered if what had just happened was real or a dream. Later, he asked his friend Ski and two soldiers nearby if they’d seen the young boy and his grandmother come onto the train. No one had. They told him he was dreaming. Yet there in his had was the crumpled one dollar bill.

With that smile and small gift, “I contently fell asleep with my precious gift tucked safely in my pocket,” he recounted, “and a pleasant feeling in my heart, the nicest feeling I had had in a very long time.”

Corporal Andrusko credits that night with changing his bitter feelings after the war. But in his mind, it took another child, many years later, to explain to him why that was true.

More then 50 years passed, and the Marine on the train was now as old as the grandmother he’d met that night. It was Christmastime again, and Corporal Andrusko was surrounded by his family gathered for a Christmas celebration, not a train full of weary soldiers. During a lull in the activity, he recounted to everyone the story of the little boy on the train. He hadn’t shared the story before. It was the reminiscing of a soldier grown old who had struggled a long time with an unanswered question. As he finished, Andrusko asked , really to no one in particular.

“Who was that little boy on the train, and why did he and his grandmother choose me? Why me?”

A young niece was visiting, and she had listened to her uncle’s wartime story and his unanswered questions.

“I know,” she said quietly.

Everyone stopped and looked at her.

The old Marine said, “You know what?”

“I know who the little boy on the train was, and why he picked you.” She paused, very deliberately, and then said,

“The little boy was God, and He chose you because you were very, very sad and disappointed with everyone and everything. He wanted to make you happy again and welcome you home – and He did."

Leave it to a young child to make sense of things – and to The Child named Jesus – to light up our lives and hearts during this challenging Christmas as well.

Merry Christmas from StrongFamilies.com!

Origin of this story and how you can find the book, The Light of Home:

I wrote this story for my book, “The Light of Home, by John Trent, paintings by Thomas Kinkade, Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, OR, 2002, Chapter Eight: Remembering to Smile, pgs 92-96. I adapted it from Michael Shol and Tom Spain, eds., “Miracle on a Train,” in I’ll Be Home for Christmas: The Library of Congress Revisits the Spirit of Christmas During World War II (New York: Delacorte Press, 1999), pp. 127-210. “Miracle on a Train” was originally published as: Edward Andrusko, “Welcome Home and Merry Christmas,” in Navy Times, March 19, 1997. Used in my book by permission.

"The Light of Home" and other great Christmas gifts can be ordered online at the StrongFamilies Bookstore

2009-11-24T14:53:00.000-08:00

Dear StrongFamilies Friends!

Don’t look at the date for the last blog posting! Actually, to save you from looking, the last post came after I ran the Rock & Roll Chicago back in August. That’s a little too infrequent, so look for more postings as we move into the holidays and into next year!

Speaking of the Holidays, here’s a Thanksgiving (or Christmas) idea that lets your kids (and their parents) actually write graffiti and it’s a good thing!

Tomorrow (or if want to save the idea until Christmas, anytime in the next several weeks) purchase a new (or if you have time, find a garage sale) light colored fabric tablecloth.

Place protective plastic or paper between the table and the tablecloth.
Arrange some permanent laundry markers around the table, but out of the reach of little hands until they can be supervised.
In the middle of the tablecloth, write Thanksgiving (or Christmas) 2009!
Before dinner, have everyone choose a marker and write about something they are thankful for this year! Children can draw a picture. You can also include a word of affirmation for someone at the table. “I am thankful for Darrick’s joyful spirit.” Or “Sarah has been a great help to mom in setting the table!” or “It’s awesome having Grandma and Grandpa here!” or “We’re glad the Smith family could join us for Thanksgiving!”
For a more “colorful” tablecloth, tell every at the beginning that after a few minutes, , “Everybody has to trade markers!” That way you’ll get more colors going.
You can also write the contributor's name and age next to their masterpiece.
Tuck the tablecloth away after Thanksgiving, and buy a new one every year.
Bring out cloths from past years to read together. It is fun to remember who was there on a given year, and the visible changes will move you. The writings of a departed grandparent as well as the childish scribbles of your grown offspring will be cherished, and don’t be surprised if the tablecloths become family heirlooms.

Have an awesome Thanksgiving from StrongFamilies.com!

Part II - Dr. Trent Rocks Chicago! (Read this second!)

2009-08-04T11:45:00.001-07:00

Here's a picture and video of me walking into "Corral 7" with 1,000 of my new friends, and a video of the start for our group...

My biggest concern was the heat and humidity (Especially coming from Arizona, the land of dry heat). But we started running to early, and the weather was so nice, the race itself was half as hard as the training runs I'd one back home! (On my training runs, I'd run out of water half way, and the heat was brutal. At the Rock and Roll, it seemed like every ten feet someone was handing you water, and because you were running through downtown Chicago, the buildings are so tall, I was in the shade almost the whole time!

Dr. Trent Rocks Chicago! (And finishes the 1/2 Marathon!

2009-08-04T11:20:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all those who prayed and supported me as I ran the Chicago Rock & Roll 1/2 Marathon this past Sunday, August 2nd! What follows is a blow by blow account -- with an invitation at the end for you to come and join me and Rock Arizona on January 17th at the Rock & Roll 1/2 Marathon in Phoenix!

Hi, StrongFamilies Friends!

Race Preparation!

It all started with an early morning plane flight from LAX to Chicago (Cindy and I had been speaking at Forest Home in California, so she fly home to Phoenix and I headed to the Windy City. I stepped off the plane, ran to the rental car desk, and then raced over to "check in" at a convention center near downtown. You can't run if you don't have your "race bib" (the race number you run with)and you have to check in before 5:00pm the day before race day. I made it with all of 45 minutes to spare!

I went to my hotel, about a mile from the start, and here's a picture of the race crew setting up the starting line!

That night, I went to Gino's East for a "carb" (and calorie load) deep dish Chicago pizza! The next morning, at 4:00am, here's what the view looked like from my room.

4:00am is actually 2:00am Pacific time (in Arizona and California where I was coming from) so it was an early start! If you haven't been in a marathon or 1/2 marathon like the Rock & Roll -- you're not alone! In fact, here I am going into my "corral." What that means is that the really good runners get in "Corral 1." And it goes down from there. In all but the first corral, there are roughly 1,000 people! They do this so that they can do what's called a "staggered" start, so you don't bunch up at the starting line. Here too is a video of the start! In the next "post" I'll continue to walk you through the run and post the picture and video of the start!

Instead of turning into the Casino...

2009-05-18T12:05:00.000-07:00

Last post, I shared about looking out at the casino near our office. Let's look a little closer at what can keep us from turning into that parking lot -- by being willing to face something as scary as... a gas pump!
Dr. Tony Wheeler, the Director of our Midwest Center for StrongFamilies (www.midwestfamilycenter.com) is fond of sharing an amazing story.
In the state of New Jersey, like everywhere else across the country, the cost of gasoline has gone up and up. It seems that in 2006, in the face of soaring prices, their governor at the time decided to do something that experts calculated would drop the price of gasoline 5 to 10 cents per gallon immediately. There could be huge savings statewide if they could just make that small change – but even the suggestion brought a huge outcry. In fact, the Governor’s office retreated on making this change after being swamped with over 1,400 e-mails and calls that poured in from an outraged public! (That was five times the “outrage emails” they gotten regarding anything else the Governor had proposed).
What was it that fired up people so much that they shouted down making such a small change? The Governor had suggested that people be allowed to pump their own gas! But in New Jersey, motorists haven’t pumped their own gas in 57 years. Cries came that people would put the gas in the wrong hole! That the elderly couldn’t do it and would harm themselves! That gas stations would be blowing up all over the state from smokers filling their tanks!
In short, fear shouted down positive change. Proverbs 16:13 says, “The sluggard says, “There is a lion in the road! A lion in the open square!” You’re not going to take a step outside if there are “lion-sized” problems out there! (Real or imagined). Fear blows up our problems and decreases our feelings that we can do anything about them.
So – if you’ve ever pumped your own gas without harming yourself or others – then you might think about sharing this story with someone you’re working with who is fearful of taking even that first small “step” towards a positive future. Or perhaps, as you think about your own life, you need to ask the hard question yourself. “Have your fears in these difficult times caused you to slow down, stopped you from moving forward, or caused you to question your faith not just in a positive future, but in the God of the future?”
I’ll start by being honest. Our little ministry has been hammered by the economic situation like never before. I’ve faced heart pounding, stomach tightening fears, just like many of you. But I promise I won’t turn into the casino on the way home, and like you, that I’ll keep turning towards a loving God who does have a positive future for us, and who sent His only Son who will “never leave us, nor forsake us.” (Hebrews 13:5b). Write more soon, JT

Where a loss of optimism can lead...

2009-05-12T18:02:00.000-07:00

From my office, if I stand close to my upstairs window and look far out towards the horizon, I can see “it” poking it’s head above the trees and buildings. The “it” is a Casino. It’s right in the middle of town, with a parking lot that always looks full when I get on the freeway to go home. In fact, our local paper reported recently that with the economy being so bad and with so many businesses hurting for customers – attendance numbers at the casino was actually increasing!
But that only makes sense, right?
Surely, in these troubled times, people are flocking there who are optimistically thinking to themselves, “My luck is bound change! This time, when I pull the handle on the slot machine, I’m going to win a jackpot that will change everything for the better!”
People who frequently visit casinos are optimists, right? They just have to be it would seem. But if the truth be known, in clinical studies, people who frequent casinos aren’t optimists... they’re major league pessimists!
That took me by surprise when I first read that people weren’t numbly “pulling the handle” of a slot machine because they thought it would lead to a positive future. Most were pulling the handle because they felt they didn’t have a future – or at least a future that they could do anything about changing.
But certainly, that kind of fatalistic view of the future isn’t something Christians have to deal with, right? After all, we can lay claim to verses like Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans for welfare, not calamity, to give you a future and a hope.” And “Phillipians 4:6, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, let your requests be make known unto God.”
Those are great verses, and God’s word is absolutely true. But if the truth be known, I think many Christians today – like never before in my lifetime – are getting a chance to hold those verses in one hand, and the incredibly harsh economic and social realities we’re facing in the other. In fact, if I were a betting man, I would “wager” that some of us reading (or writing) this blog right now are fearful about a positive future. What's more, some are questioning whether with so many "rules of life" having changed so quickly... can we really impact our future in a positive way?
Let me start by being honest about being fearful of a positive future. Back in the months after 9/11, our small ministry almost went under. We do roughly 18 to 20 seminars a year, and those seminars at churches across the country represent about 75% of our income as a ministry. After 9/11, we had 14 seminars cancel -- and we nearly went out of ministry. I thought that was the toughest of tough times. However, to put things in perspective, we had our major February conference cancel... then our major March conference... then April... May... and two days ago, I got a call that our July conference had canceled. (Which makes June sound like a good month -- except we didn't have a June seminar!). All that to say that I had to sit down with my precious wife, Cindy, and have the same very challenging talk with her that I did back after 9/11. That is we not only won't be getting paycheck this month... but as it looks I won't be able to hand her a paycheck this summer. That's tough, but I know lots of folks who have had it tougher. And so that leads me back to where we began.
It's 6:13pm and I'm getting ready to go home, looking out my window at the office as I write this... and just barely able to see the casino in the distance. Tune in tomorrow, and I'll share with you what it is that keeps me from turning into that parking lot, and pulling a handle.
Lord bless and write more soon,
John Trent, Ph.D. StrongFamilies.com

The Peanut Butter Club

2009-04-08T08:28:00.000-07:00

It was years ago when my mother announced "we" (meaning, her three boys -- ages eight, five and five -- I'm a twin) were all "New members of the Peanut Butter Club!" As a little background, we loved peanut butter. As in, we'd eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every day by choice at grade school, and every meal at home if we were allowed. Now, our dreams had come true! For the next three days, we were told that as official members of the "Peanut Butter Club" we could dine on our favorite sandwich morning, noon and night! Of course, what my single-parent mom wasn't saying in announcing our membership in the "club" was that she'd be eating those sandwiches with us as well. Not because she shared our love for all things peanut butter. But because there was still three days left in the month, and she had no money and little food in the cupboard -- except bread, peanut butter and jelly.
Mom got her check the first day of the month, and we'd all go to the store on "payday" and stock up on everything needed (and healthy) to fill up three growing boys. But Mom would always buy an extra jar of peanut butter -- and sure enough -- every month for years growing up, we'd get to "join the club" at the end of the month.
Maybe that's where you're at, or where a friend is at. As a child, I didn't understand the incredible courage it took for a single-parent mom, with no help from family or friends, to turn that pit-of-the-stomach fear and anxiety of being totally broke, into several days of "fun" for her kids. I'm grateful I understand a little better today. As I cross the country, I'm certainly talking to more and more people who are hurting "big time" financially. And closer to home, all I have to do is look at our own small ministry that, like so many others, is struggling to stay afloat in these challenging times. These are fearful, anxious times. But I'm incredibly thankful for that model of a loving mom who looked empty cupboards and an empty pocketbook in the eye -- and had the courage, faith and wisdom to start a "peanut butter club" instead of tossing up her hands or tossing in the towel.
Wishing you and your family God's best,
John Trent

Back from Dallas EXPO and a house of mirrors...

2009-03-23T20:25:00.000-07:00

There are so many controdictory examples of whether things are getting worse -- or getting better in the world we're facing -- it's like living in a house of mirrors. Look in one mirror, one day, and things look small and shrunken. For example, I just got back from the Dallas Book Expo. They had expected, literally, at least 50,000 people to show up at the Dallas Convention Center. We bought a booth (see above) and were all set to help hundreds of families who walked by. On Friday, almost no one walked by all day. There were, literally, 400 people at the event -- not 50,000. On Saturday, it looked like 300 people. On Sunday, I was told that many of the events were canceled. It was incredible to see thousands of feet of convention floor space, filled with books and authors and book publishers -- and so few people. To put it in perspective, if Max Lucado was doing a book signing, how long would you expect his line to be? If you said, "Around the entire convention center!" You'd normally be right! However, at this Book Expo, I walked over, talked to my friend, Max, got caught with him for several minutes before finally, another person walked up to get a book signed by him! (By the way, Max has quit riding his road bike and is back to golfing, having golfed with Michael Hyatt, Publisher of Thomas Nelson, the day before).
That's the negative "mirror" I looked into over the weekend. Apparently, money so tight, people so scared of even buying a book -- they just stayed home.
Then on Monday it's like looking at another mirror!
The market goes up over 500 points! (Which in stock market terms is a lot in one day!!!). All that to say, I'm glad that we have a God who knows the future -- and knows us. Put in the words of 1Cor. 13:12, "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known." I'm thankful that in these uncertain, "house of mirror" times, we can know that while we face lots of uncertainty today, one day we'll exchange it for a full picture of Jesus, and His love and plan for our lives.
Good news in confusing times! Write more later and Lord bless, John Trent

Cold hands warm hearts in South Dakota

2009-03-12T14:46:00.000-07:00

Wow! Two days ago I was home in Scottsdale, mowing our yard and it was only 84 degrees. Last night it was zero here in South Dakota! What a difference a two hour plane flight can make! I spoke a few hours ago at a Priority Associates luncheon in downtown Souix Falls to about 100 business people. My topic. The 2 Degree Difference in their workplaces, homes and heart for God. During my talk, I held up a steering wheel and told a story of my falling asleep at the wheel in New Mexico -- waking up in "big trouble" when my car went across six lanes and started to go off the road -- and my making things worse by trying a "big solution" to my "big problem" by yanking the steering wheel 180 degrees. (Which, if you're a paramedic or police officer you know is how you roll your car over several times). For several of the people I talked to afterwards, that "picture" with the steering wheel was the very thing that had been holding them back in either growing, or coming to Christ -- namely, they were waiting for, or thinking that only a 180 degree change could bring change for them. For one "seeker", he told me "I have so many questions about evolution, I think I've been waiting for all my questions to be answered before I make any kind of decision about Jesus." For another, it was thinking that "there had to be one big thing" he could do to try and win back his wife (instead of making small 2 Degree changes right now). In short, it's so much like us to think that we have to do something "big" when we face a big problem. It's so much like Jesus to remind us to be "faithful in a little" and to have faith the size of a mustard seed. Hope you're doing great, making those 2 Degree changes, and staying warm! Post more later, JT

Carrying a "He who must not be named" mark on my forehead

2009-03-06T09:00:00.000-08:00

It's Friday, March 6th, and I'm just now back in front of a computer. After speaking at the Focus on the Family Simulcast on Saturday, I flew home, taught our Sunday morning "parents with grade school children" class at Scottsdale Bible Church, and then flew back out Sunday afternoon to Dallas, Texas. Sunday night after landing, I meet with an incredible ministry called, Marriage Mentors. Only I was sick in Colorado (missing the evening dinner with all the other speakers), felt worse on Sunday, and got really, really sick late Sunday night. For only the second time in 25 years -- I couldn't answer the bell. I called Dewey Wilson (the founder of Marriage Mentors) and told him that I was just too sick to drive over that morning for our next meeting. I called my family doctor (who lives down the street from us) and he chewed me out severely and told me to get home immediately! To make the story shorter, I was able to fly home a few hours later, go to the doctor that afternoon, and to go to bed Monday afternoon with what I was told was "the worst inner ear infection" my doctor had seen in quite some time.
However... that's where "He who must not be named comes in."
It was late at night on Monday after I was home, and I was feeling terrible. I decided to get up and go into the kitchen to get some water, but with the severe inner ear infection, my head started spinning (Similar to vertigo I'm told). I passed out, hit the floor -- with my head -- and so when Cindy walked around the corner to see what had happened (I guess I upset the dogs sleep by falling), I was unconscious, laying on the floor, and blood pouring from my head! (It was actually a small cut on my forehead, but head wounds bleed like crazy!). Next thing I remember, the paramedics are there, and I'm on my way to the hospital! After all the tests you can imagine (lasting all night), it was declared I just had an inner ear infection that threw off my balance. And of course, I've got this really cool cut on my forehead that looks (my older daughter says) like Harry Potter's scar! (Except, I think mine will go away in a few weeks).
Since Monday night, I have spent more time in bed then I have in a decade, so I'm actually feeling better and certainly am rested up. All that to say, "He who must not be named" may have gotten the best of my head on Monday, but I'm thankful for Almighty God's healing and for a wonderful family to make sure I'm able to head out next week on more trips and write more posts soon! Stay strong and keeping making 2 Degree changes. JT

Just got home from the Focus Simulcast!

2009-02-28T22:24:00.000-08:00

Wow. What an amazing experience to have had the honor to be part of the Focus on the Family Marriage Simulcast. I should have known it would be a special time when I left Arizona and it was 84 degrees -- and landed in Denver and it snowed driving down to Colorado Springs! The day I landed, literally, while I was driving down to the Springs, Dr. Dobson was speaking at chapel for all the Focus employees -- and he and Shirley resigned from the Focus Board! That was this past Friday. I was supposed to go to a dinner with all the speakers, including Gary Smalley, Beth Moore, Gary Thomas, and Del Tackett (not to mention Jeremy Camp, the musician for the day) -- but I'm still battling a bad ear infection and went to bed at 8:00pm. (My wife Cindy was bummed I couldn't go and get Beth Moore's autograph! (<:) Saturday, I was the last speaker. I was charged with wrapping things up and with bringing the "high view of marriage" each speaker have given, down to the practical "how do I live it out at home" level. To do that, I walked out with a red balloon. I went through a short review of what each speaker had done, and how their message had "lifted up" our view of marriage -- Gary Thomas on how marriage should be more about holiness then happiness; Beth Moore with insights from Ephesians 5, Del Tackett with high thoughts from Genesis 2, and Gary Smalley, who challenged people to be sold out to Christ and consumed with prayer. All lofty ideals and all a great way to "lift up our eyes" to all marriage could be. With each speaker I mentioned, I let the balloon get higher and higher as I talked about each speaker. then I shared how my session would be about bringing "up there... down here." And I pulled the balloon down and started my talk. I hope it was helpful for folks to hear about The 2 Degree Difference. It was really fun to get to talk to the 900 folks in attendance, and to the 500+ churches across North America who were tuning in via simulcast. We need that "high view of marriage." And we also -- Cindy and me included -- need to bring all those "up there" ideas... "down here." Stay strong. Lord bless, and more later, JT

High Speed Grief and a family that needs our prayers

2009-02-19T14:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I opened an email from AMFM, a marriage and family ministry that links together pastors and marriage and family ministry leaders from across the country. The email said that a friend of ours from Texas was literally minutes away from losing their 12 year old son. Conner Deal was fighting for his life in a hospital in Dallas. His parents, Ron and Nancy, having brought him down from Amarillo to a larger hospital were at side. Ten days before, he was doing great. He caught a cold, it went into his lungs, and now he was fighting for his life against pneumonia. We gathered as many people together as we could in our office, and prayed for this family and this young man and his parents. (As others prayed, I thought of having lunch with Conner and his family after I'd spoken at his father's church. I could see him running towards a water park this past August near the hotel his family stayed at for the AMFM conference. A precious, active, awesome kid.). Several people prayed, and when we lifted our heads, another email popped up, sharing the news that Conner had gone to be with the Lord. I can't explain how sad it was to step into that life and death drama at light speed. I also can't imagine the grief that the Deal family is having to cope with this day. Technology is a great thing. But on this day it carried sad news at high speed. Please pray with us for the Deal family, today, and in the really tough days ahead.

Welcome to John Trent's Blog on building StrongFamilies!

2009-02-12T18:38:00.000-08:00

A blog devoted to building StrongFamilies? That's right! Welcome to this very first posting of what will be a frequent chance for me to share thoughts, stories, prayer requests, studies, and comments in general concerning all things marriage and family. As I write tonight, I'm thinking about my friend (now passed away) named, Dr. Jerry Falwell. From my hotel room, I can see Liberty University. Jerry built this University that began in 1971, and today, it's a sprawling campus in Lynchburg, VA, with thousands of college and graduate students (And a pretty good basketball team! Check out the league leading, Lady Flames!). I'm getting ready to speak at a Valentines Banquet tomorrow night (Friday night), at Travis Avenue Baptist Church (with Dr. Kevin Leman). Today, the church, like the University, is growing by leaps and bounds -- and it's new Pastor is... Jonathan Falwell. Jerry's oldest son. And that's what I wanted to post about. Several years ago (try fifteen!) I was asked by Dr. Falwell to come out and do a "marriage and family seminar" at his church. (Their first one). Guess who sat in the front row? Dr. Falwell. Guess who was sitting next to him? His wife and children -- including Jonathan. And afterwards, guess who got to go out to a local Subway with Jerry and his whole family for dinner? Me. Dr. Falwell was demonized in the press for years. On that night after the seminar, and in all the years I knew him after that, he was an incredibly warm and caring person -- and he was the real deal as a husband and father. With a crushing schedule, he took time for hiswife wife and kids. I saw him laugh with them, hug them, his eyes shine with pride as he introduced his wife and children to me. Jerry's gone now, but his legacy is going strong. I can see it as I look up at the lights shining in a huge new dorm. I know I'll see it when I shake Jonathan's hand tomorrow night. Not many of us are going to leave a University behind as a legacy -- but all of us who are parents have the opportunity to leave a loving legacy to our kids. Makes me think how much I miss Cindy and my girls back home. I'm going to call home... again. I'll let you know how the seminars goes...